Thank you Niciose. We are in such a state about what to do. We have appointment with our solicitor (we have been responding to his solicitor ourselves recently as £250 a letter is getting a tad expensive) who will advise our best option. We HAVE to do something, we cannot let this estrangement (albeit his choice) continue when he really needs to be with us that love him most. Ageuk have given us some excellent advice but of course, as he is very lucid, apart from paranoia and delusions (he says we phone him in early hours of the morning which is not true either) they and adult social services feel there is nothing they can do. This horrendous situation has taken over the whole families lives and all we can do is our best to get a happy ending to this as soon as possible. I'm sure the rigvastimine patches whilst alleviating a lot if the symptoms, actually make some worse.
Can Alzheimers Disease really be mis-diagnosed?
- Thread starter Holsworthy
- Start date
Thank you Niciose. We are in such a state about what to do. We have appointment with our solicitor (we have been responding to his solicitor ourselves recently as £250 a letter is getting a tad expensive) who will advise our best option. We HAVE to do something, we cannot let this estrangement (albeit his choice) continue when he really needs to be with us that love him most. Ageuk have given us some excellent advice but of course, as he is very lucid, apart from paranoia and delusions (he says we phone him in early hours of the morning which is not true either) they and adult social services feel there is nothing they can do. This horrendous situation has taken over the whole families lives and all we can do is our best to get a happy ending to this as soon as possible. I'm sure the rigvastimine patches whilst alleviating a lot if the symptoms, actually make some worse.
Not mis-diagnosed - official
My dads solicitor has advised that dad have AD after all (there's a surprise) but will give us no further information, other than dad is taking medication. It's none of our business apparently. Dad phoned a family friend to complain we didn't send his birthday cards last month direct to him but to his solicitor. We have been WARNED that we will be charged with harassment and an injunction will be taken if we contact him in any way, shape or form. We have sent Christmas cards direct to him now so will see if that causes a problem. I'm going to phone him Christmas morning though, I don't care, I want to speak to my dad, it's Christmas!! The first Christmas in 59 years, I've not been with my dad and its heart breaking. I doubt my call will be answered
My dads solicitor has advised that dad have AD after all (there's a surprise) but will give us no further information, other than dad is taking medication. It's none of our business apparently. Dad phoned a family friend to complain we didn't send his birthday cards last month direct to him but to his solicitor. We have been WARNED that we will be charged with harassment and an injunction will be taken if we contact him in any way, shape or form. We have sent Christmas cards direct to him now so will see if that causes a problem. I'm going to phone him Christmas morning though, I don't care, I want to speak to my dad, it's Christmas!! The first Christmas in 59 years, I've not been with my dad and its heart breaking. I doubt my call will be answered
Vascular dementia can be diagnosed by brain scans so your Dad does have a form of dementia even if Alzheimer's is in doubt. His behaviour is obviously erratic and misguided. He ought to be seen by a consultant who can certify that he doesn't have capacity but I realise this would be difficult to do in the situation you are in.
Can the OPG help? You could phone them and tell them that you are concerned about a person who has lost capacity managing their financial affairs. I think, now that he has revoked the PoA, you would have to apply to become his Court of Protection deputy but I think the OPG told you otherwise? I would definitely get him removed as executor of your mother's wlll asap. It wouldn't be legally acceptable if he has lost capacity. I wonder if you need to get your own solicitor to act on your behalf.
Can the OPG help? You could phone them and tell them that you are concerned about a person who has lost capacity managing their financial affairs. I think, now that he has revoked the PoA, you would have to apply to become his Court of Protection deputy but I think the OPG told you otherwise? I would definitely get him removed as executor of your mother's wlll asap. It wouldn't be legally acceptable if he has lost capacity. I wonder if you need to get your own solicitor to act on your behalf.
Thank you for your reply Nita. My dad has vascular dementia also along with a major heart condition. We have today been advised by dads solicitor that he has been seen by his new GP (doesn't know him) and an elderly persons psychiatrist, who have deemed him mentally capable which he is whilst on medication. He has not seen an Alzheimer's specialist where he now lives unfortunately. The OPG were quite unhelpful and following advice from AGEUK. I have been in touch with his local adult social services who have told me they will investigate. I've not heard anything from them despite speaking with them at length three weeks ago and again last week. We are scheduled to see our solicitor again shortly to take next course of action. I appreciate your message, thank you. Best wishes to you
And now he's gone
So, after Dad leaving us to live with his 'friend', solicitors letters, lies and accusations and nothing resolved, dad passed away. We haven't seen him since 17 August when he went off with his friend on what we thought was a fourth couple of days visit at the coast, nothing was resolved, and now he has died. We are devastated, bereft, angry and just about every emotion one can feel. He was diagnosed with cancer end of Jan/beginning of February but we weren't told, we weren't told for 4 days after he died. His solicitor did that because his 'friend' didn't have the decency to let me know. We arranged his funeral, she didn't want anything to do with it, put a limit on how much we could spend as she is now his executor and beneficiary. He left her everything. She robbed us of the last 8 months of dads life and our inheritance from our dad and our mum. He should have been with his family who loved him so much. This 'friend' groomed a vulnerable man when he was at his lowest, grieving for our mum, being diagnosed with AD, losing his driving licence, selling his home and moving into my brothers annexe, he was understandably sad and depressed and she took advantage of that. Please make sure it never happens to your loved ones. We never dreamed his friend could take him from us, poison his mind against us and then return him when he died and she'd got what she wanted. Why would we not encourage him to have a couple of days by the sea whilst he could. Why would we think anyone would do this to him. PLEASE make sure yours and your loved ones affairs are in order. I havent posted for such a long time but Ive been reading your posts and I relieved that this is all over for Dad. AD is the most wicked illness and I wish you all the very best, keep the strength to carry on for as long as you have to. But most importantly, you MUST look after yourselves. You all have my admiration and respect.
So, after Dad leaving us to live with his 'friend', solicitors letters, lies and accusations and nothing resolved, dad passed away. We haven't seen him since 17 August when he went off with his friend on what we thought was a fourth couple of days visit at the coast, nothing was resolved, and now he has died. We are devastated, bereft, angry and just about every emotion one can feel. He was diagnosed with cancer end of Jan/beginning of February but we weren't told, we weren't told for 4 days after he died. His solicitor did that because his 'friend' didn't have the decency to let me know. We arranged his funeral, she didn't want anything to do with it, put a limit on how much we could spend as she is now his executor and beneficiary. He left her everything. She robbed us of the last 8 months of dads life and our inheritance from our dad and our mum. He should have been with his family who loved him so much. This 'friend' groomed a vulnerable man when he was at his lowest, grieving for our mum, being diagnosed with AD, losing his driving licence, selling his home and moving into my brothers annexe, he was understandably sad and depressed and she took advantage of that. Please make sure it never happens to your loved ones. We never dreamed his friend could take him from us, poison his mind against us and then return him when he died and she'd got what she wanted. Why would we not encourage him to have a couple of days by the sea whilst he could. Why would we think anyone would do this to him. PLEASE make sure yours and your loved ones affairs are in order. I havent posted for such a long time but Ive been reading your posts and I relieved that this is all over for Dad. AD is the most wicked illness and I wish you all the very best, keep the strength to carry on for as long as you have to. But most importantly, you MUST look after yourselves. You all have my admiration and respect.
Dear Holsworthy,
I am so sorry to read your sad update to your Dad's story - and especially sad for you that there was no opportunity to to have a final chance to make up and put things right between you.
You did do what you could, but unfortunately you were up against both dementia and a determined "new friend". I do believe in karma - you may never know the outcome, but I don't think you can live happily with yourself if you behave dreadfully to other people, and profit from others' unhappiness. The friend will reap just rewards...
Your father is now at peace, and I hope that somehow you are able to find that for yourself - as you say, looking after yourself is so important - despite all that has happened.
Sending you strength to put this behind you and find your own peace
I am so sorry to read your sad update to your Dad's story - and especially sad for you that there was no opportunity to to have a final chance to make up and put things right between you.
You did do what you could, but unfortunately you were up against both dementia and a determined "new friend". I do believe in karma - you may never know the outcome, but I don't think you can live happily with yourself if you behave dreadfully to other people, and profit from others' unhappiness. The friend will reap just rewards...
Your father is now at peace, and I hope that somehow you are able to find that for yourself - as you say, looking after yourself is so important - despite all that has happened.
Sending you strength to put this behind you and find your own peace
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Hi Holsworthy- so sorry to read of your loss and all you have been through. I know it may be too early to fight but I feel a solicitor could challenge any recent will backed up by what you say. If someone lacks capacity then a solicitor should not be handling wills etc- If a diagnosis has already been made prior to this saga then you would stand a very good chance in appealing I think and getting it revoked. Maybe worth looking into a solicitor who specialises in this kind of fraud? I am sure you feel bereft/defeated/resigned etc but perhaps you owe it to your real Dad and late mother to fight for justice? It is so saddening to read what has happened and thank you for sharing personal story as a warning to others.
If this "friend" has only got him to change will in recent months and not even bothered to tell you (can be confirmed in court by your solicitor) then that alone speaks volumes. If you let it rest, this woman could repeat her trick on another victim and their family. Why should she get away with it? Don't make yourself ill but fight for justice.
I see you started this thread raising your concerns back in September- use that for more evidence.
If this "friend" has only got him to change will in recent months and not even bothered to tell you (can be confirmed in court by your solicitor) then that alone speaks volumes. If you let it rest, this woman could repeat her trick on another victim and their family. Why should she get away with it? Don't make yourself ill but fight for justice.
I see you started this thread raising your concerns back in September- use that for more evidence.
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