1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Buried feelings coming to the surface.

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by silverlining18, Oct 1, 2015.

  1. silverlining18

    silverlining18 Registered User

    Dec 23, 2014
    9
    MIL's scheduled visit to the Psychiatrist today, she has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's for 2 years. Hubby and I have been caring for her with help from carers for 1 hour per day plus 4 days day care.
    Her deterioration has been rapid - her quarterly phone bill logged over 5000 telephone calls to our home - it hasn't been easy.
    We are both retired and were looking forward to years of holidays with Benny our Chocolate Lab., watching rugby league and generally enjoying ourselves.
    I typed a detailed account of MIL's decline for the Psychiatrist, including the fact of myself having Bi-polar disorder (well managed by medication) and H being on anti-depressants since things have worsened.
    It came to our talk with the Psychiatrist and she came to the conclusion that it was time for MIL to go in 24 hour care.
    My whole body shuddered and I sobbed, putting my hand up to my mouth, tears welling up, a totally sudden shock - of obvious relief. I had not realised how much I was holding in.
    The Care home MIL has been attending for day care is marvellous and she enjoys being there. I hope we can get her a placement there.
    The Psychiatrist is getting the ball rolling by writing to SS.
    I do not feel much emotion being on medication for Bi-polar Disorder so today is was a complete surprise.
    We know MIL will be well looked after at the Care home and it is the best place for her.
    Think positively, do your best, seek help and try not to worry - it can make you ill.
     
  2. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    Fingers crossed.
    I bet you never realised how tight your elastic band had wound itself...till it was released!! Congratulations on a sensible Psychiatrist!!!:D
     
  3. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,665
    Salford
    High Ho Silverlining
    Sometimes it's the best thing for everyone involved, you might be surprised it might be just what she needs, company, a secure environment a bit like a hotel and with a lot less to worry about.
    Given you have issues of your own I'd just say enjoy your time and count yourself lucky you don't live in Salford the Reds aren't doing too well.
    K
     
  4. silverlining18

    silverlining18 Registered User

    Dec 23, 2014
    9
    Thank you for your reply. All parties involved in MIL's care have been excellent. I wish others could receive such a service, but reading some of the posts on here it seems it is not always the case, which is very sad.
     
  5. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,426
    Yorkshire
    Feels good to breath again doesn't it.
    It's sad to be pleased at such an outcome, I know - but I am pleased that you have been listened to and your care for your mil acknowledged.
    She will be well looked after at the home and by you still - the difference is, you will be able to have time to enjoy your lovely lab, rugby and hubby (might not have got the order right there) AND visit to spend time with her.
    Best wishes to you all
     
  6. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,336
    Female
    South coast
    Once mum got settled in her CH she has thrived - it was definitely the best thing for her, so I do hope your mum will move into the CH that she is used to.


    And breathe..........
     
  7. silverlining18

    silverlining18 Registered User

    Dec 23, 2014
    9
    Thanks Kevinl - Wire haven't been their sparkling best this year either. Thank goodness there is always next season. Long live Rugby League!
     
  8. silverlining18

    silverlining18 Registered User

    Dec 23, 2014
    9
    You are so right Shedrech. Caring for a relative with AD is very hard work and my heart goes out to anyone in that situation. Hoping for a better future.
     
  9. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,665
    Salford
    On the bright side I went into Lidl in Warrington today (some supplies for the boat) and it has to be said the people in Warrington are extremely polite to the point I felt like I was getting chatted up:)
    On the downside I live in Swinton and the Lions are pretty rubbish right now:(
    K
     
  10. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    9,765
    Merseyside
    Long live rugby league :D
     

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