brother

lizbet

Registered User
Feb 26, 2007
20
north yorkshire
Have been told today that my Brother has Dementia. He lives on his own and is in denial and refusing all help.
Am very worried about him do not know how he is going to end up, visited him on Sunday instead of going to see George.
Found my brother looking , very thin and obviously not looking after himself.Looks very ill,
The Doctor had sent Social officer round, but was told he did not want any help.
Have been in touch with his family who live a distance away. Going to be very difficult . Lizbet
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,743
Kent
What terrible news for you Lizbet, I`m so sorry. I hope his family will rally round to help him.
 

hendy

Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
506
West Yorkshire
Hi Lizbet
I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. Will someone in your brother's family be able to take on the main carers role?(even though its a distance?)Keep us posted Lizbet and take care
kind regards
hendy
 

Grommit

Registered User
Apr 26, 2006
2,127
Doncaster
Difficult situations to deal with are total denials.

Jean's Mother is convinced that there is nothing wrong with Jean at all.

Jean is entering the latter stages of Alzheimers, is unable to speak or comprehend but, because she nods when spoken to in response to questions, she is "alright".

Can't really offer any help here but I am thinking of you chuck.
 

lizbet

Registered User
Feb 26, 2007
20
north yorkshire
Hi
Am going to visit brother Ron tomorrow, he has said he does not want me to stay with him for a while. He likes and wants to be on his own.
His son has arranged a visit from social worker and hoping for a care plan to be put into place. So hoping something will get sorted out.
He has been told not to drive and is devastated about that. That is a terrible blow for anyone.
Have had assessmentregarding funding for George, Will be finding it very hard to manage after paying them, makes me think you are better off not having works pension .Also your own property.
Feeling very low tonight.
Lizbet
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
Hi lizbet

so sorry to hear all this.
He likes and wants to be on his own.
This is probably because he is in his own world when alone, but realises things are not right when others are there, so it solves the problem not to have them there. Except of course, that it doesn't.

You have an apparent wall of things coming towards you in the way of worries.

Use the elephant trick: how can you possibly eat anything as big as an elephant? Well, you eat it a bite at a time, not all at once.

Take things slowly and try not to get overwhelmed.

..... and keep coming to Talking Point.

Take care
 

hendy

Registered User
Feb 20, 2008
506
West Yorkshire
Dear Lizbet
I'm sure Ron will be finding all this really difficult to accept. My Dad found it harder to accept the no drive rule more than the dementia. It truly is the beginning of loss of independence which I suppose we'd all have a problem accepting.
I'm so sorry for your brother.

As for funding for George its unbelievable that it should be leaving you hard up( have I got that right?).Lizbet this must be so hard to accept, I'm not surprised you're feeling low. To feel financial pressure on top of the distress over Ron and George is just a really difficult burden.
Practically speaking I'm sure there will be lots of advice coming your way from TP members. I think there might even be a thread already running on this one.
Hold on Lizbet
kind regards
hendy