Black day at hospital

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by davekas, Oct 2, 2007.

  1. davekas

    davekas Registered User

    Hi Everyone,
    I only joined TP last week and spoke of my mother in law who was rushed into hospital with suspected kidney failure. She was diagnosed with Alzheimers 3 years ago.
    She has now been in hospital for 11 days and this morning I went to visit her and to speak to her Consultant doctor. Nothing could have prepared me for what he said. She had apparently suffered a heavy bleeding episode yesterday which resulted in her having to have a blood transfusion. Her Consultant told me that a scan had showed a large mass in her bowel and liver, and subsequent blood tests indicated cancer. What a shock! It still hasn`t sunk in.
    The worst thing was having to tell my husband when he got in from work. We are going to another meeting on Friday morning at the Consultant`s office.
    I feel really sad and keep crying on and off, but I`m getting annoyed with myself because I think I should be stronger than this when my hubby needs me to lean on. I am so proud of him as he seems to be coping ok. He says it`s because he feels like he`s already lost his mum as he knew her.
    Thanks for listening,
    Karen.
     
  2. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    It is sad to hear your post. Dementia is a bad enough diagnosis but to add possible cancer to the diagnosis is just awful.

    It is hard to make useful comments but I just wanted to say welcome to TP and I hope you find support here.

    You are in a difficult situation - keep your chin up. Best wishes Jan
     
  3. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Karen

    I'm so sorry to hear this terrible news about your mother-in-law, I expect you and your husband thought that Alzheimer's was the worst that could happen. Now you have to cope with this new disaster.

    It must have been a terrible shock for you to hear about the cancer. I'm not surprised you're tearful, and you certainly shouldn't be annoyed with yourself.

    I suspect your husband has shut down his emotions as he watched his mum deteriorating with Alzheimer's, and this new shock hasn't yet sunk in.

    It will hit him at some time, and then he will need you to be strong. For the moment, allow him to comfort you, and don't feel guilty about it. At some stage the roles will probably be reversed.

    All the best to all three of you,

    Love,
     
  4. taylorcat

    taylorcat Registered User

    Jun 18, 2006
    171
    W.Scotland
    Sorry to hear of your news Karen, all you can do is be there for your husband.

    Thinking of you.
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,583
    Kent
    Dear Karen.

    I hope your mother-in-law will be made as comfortable as possible and will not have to endure too much pain.

    I hope you and your husband will be able to support each other through this very difficult time.

    Take care xx
     
  6. davekas

    davekas Registered User

    Thanks everyone for your kind words and support, it`s nice to know you care.
    Isn`t it great how much better you feel when someone replies to your post.
    Big hugs to you all,
    Karen. x
     
  7. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    It does make a difference, doesn't it?

    One of the hardest things about being a carer is that you sometimes feel isolated, because no-one really understands how you are feeling.

    Well, here on TP we do understand, because we've all felt the same. We can't take away the problems, or the sadness you feel, but we can support you, and help you to bear it all.

    Love and hugs,
     
  8. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    Dear Karen.i am so sorry for your MIL ,You and your husbandI hope you can find a way to cope,Theres always someone to talk to on T.P.love elainex
     
  9. taylorcat

    taylorcat Registered User

    Jun 18, 2006
    171
    W.Scotland
    Karen, that's how I feel it's just wonderful when someone else understands what you're talking about.

    I'm just sorry I can't contribute much more, my replies all seem insignificant compared to some words others use.
     
  10. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Absolutely not, Taylorcat. No reply is insignificant, and no-one's opinion counts for more than yours.

    The beauty of TP is that we can all add something, and the poster has the benefit of weighing up all the different opinions.

    It's not the words that count, but the feeling behind the words.

    Love,
     
  11. Devonmaid

    Devonmaid Registered User

    Sep 23, 2007
    51
    Dartmoor Devon
    Hello Karen , I am sorry to hear your news , dementia on its own is bad enough. I hope that you and your husband can help one another through this sad time and find the strength to cope but pleased that , like me as a new member, you are finding comfort in being able to share your grief and worries on TP
    Love Kate
     
  12. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Dear Karen,
    I am sorry to read of your news and can appreciate what a shock this would have been for you and your hubby. Your poor MIL a diagnosis of Alzheimer's and now cancer. Life at times seems so unfair. Caring Thoughts. Taffy.
     

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