Registered User
Jan 15, 2007
Today is Mum's birthday. I went to viait with her great grandson who is just 6 months old. I wanted so much for her to enjoy him, she was just so sad, crying and shouting, and I came away feeling so sad for her.

Today should be a happy day, but instead I feel dreadful Mum just never smiles and I so want to be able to get through to her just how much she is loved.

The staff at her nursing home had put up banners and balloons, they are just so lovely, I am so grateful she is in such a lovely place.


Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
near London
Hi suzi

seems that Hampshire is a lucky place - my wife is in a really good home there too!

Mum just never smiles
that doesn't mean that she never smiles inside. Dementia just takes away the ability to communicate in what we think of as a normal way.

Do what you feel is right, and don't beat yourself up because her lips don't show a smile. It may be that her heart is smiling because she knows how you feel, and that is what is important.


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Suzi

Sorry you had such a disappointing visit. I'm afraid that AD seems to make sufferers very anti-social. They seem to withdraw into themselves, and can't really be bothered with people, apart from the primary carer, and they demand undivided attention from them. It's very frustrating, and can be embarrassing at times.

John has taken to getting visitors their coats when he's had enough, and when we visit anyone he suddenly decides it's time to go home.

It's upsetting when you've made a special effort, like you did. Perhaps the excitement was too much for her.

Hopefully, your mum will be in a better mood next time you visit.


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya Bruce,
don't beat yourself up because her lips don't show a smile. It may be that her heart is smiling
Thank you. That is a thought I will hold on to.
Love Helen

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