Mum's physical health has deteriorated over the last six months, we have had two big crises which have involved getting her to emergency respite, and my sister and I have been extremely worried about how Dad is managing, as mum can't really walk any more. Some days she can't stand up. Mum is in respite right now and a meeting was held yesterday about the way forward, Dad accepted after the last emergency admission on Christmas Eve that he now needs more help at home - he has none. Just sitters twice a week and day care twice a week. My sister and I have done emergency visits, we visit regularly we ring dad every day, we have totally supported mum going home even though we think she is better cared for in the lovely care home she goes to for respite. We have listened to what dad wanted all through all of this and done our utmost to make sure he gets what he wants, and finally thought we had made the breakthrough with him accepting people to do some physical care for mum at home. I have reached the limit of compassionate leave, have had endless unpaid leave and have abandoned my husband so very often. (parents live over 3 hours away from both me and sister - the sister who lives a tiny bit closer can't deal with it mentally) Anyway Dad has turned down all assistance as he doesn't see how it would work. He has refused on the grounds that it would mean another assessment for chc for funding for mum and that she is certain to lose funding this time (we know this) I would welcome the loss of funding as in my opinion mum is more than able to pay for her care, and the funding should be going to someone who can't. When I spoke to dad last night my husband just slumped in the chair in dismay at his decision and I feel as if the stuffing has been knocked out of me. I did not go to the meeting as dad didn't want me to, I have been ill over Christmas and would have needed more time off work. I wonder whether to ring the social worker? Or is it ok to say I have just had enough. I can't leave Dad unsupported but I can't carry on like this.