best interests

Lulu

Registered User
Nov 28, 2004
391
We are looking, yet again, at suitable Homes which will take Mum, and are being pointed towards 2 Homes which would be able to meet her needs. One is more local but still a distance, the other being just 15 mins further and a more pleasant journey.

Have been to see the first place but was not at all impressed. Of course it is difficult to know what the care is like, and that care is the most important thing. But unless Mum is placed there this is something we cannot know, and even if it proved to be less than we wished, who would want to make yet more changes as change does Mum no good whatsoever. We see the other Home tomorrow.

There are vacancies at the first Home, none at our potentially favoured Home. The assessment unit where mum is has indicated she may have to move into a temporary placement should we need to wait for a bed, but we feel very strongly that this is not in her best interests. She is doing much better on the assessment ward, and we just cannot see her doing well in the environment we have seen today. There were some positives, but overall it just felt wrong on many levels.

Can anyone offer some words of wisdom? Feeling pretty desperate with it all, and actauuly feel like saying enough! Just bring her back home again. Would this be allowed under 117 discharge?
 

Karjo

Registered User
Jan 11, 2012
481
We are looking, yet again, at suitable Homes which will take Mum, and are being pointed towards 2 Homes which would be able to meet her needs. One is more local but still a distance, the other being just 15 mins further and a more pleasant journey.

Have been to see the first place but was not at all impressed. Of course it is difficult to know what the care is like, and that care is the most important thing. But unless Mum is placed there this is something we cannot know, and even if it proved to be less than we wished, who would want to make yet more changes as change does Mum no good whatsoever. We see the other Home tomorrow.

There are vacancies at the first Home, none at our potentially favoured Home. The assessment unit where mum is has indicated she may have to move into a temporary placement should we need to wait for a bed, but we feel very strongly that this is not in her best interests. She is doing much better on the assessment ward, and we just cannot see her doing well in the environment we have seen today. There were some positives, but overall it just felt wrong on many levels.

Can anyone offer some words of wisdom? Feeling pretty desperate with it all, and actauuly feel like saying enough! Just bring her back home again. Would this be allowed under 117 discharge?
is your mum going to be discharged under section 117 aftercare,did she go onto section 3? Or is this more of a rhetorical question?
 

Lulu

Registered User
Nov 28, 2004
391
we don't know when discharge will happen yet but the section 2 was converted to a section 3 and the discharge process is underway, beginning with Homes (all 2 of them) being asked to come to assess. I am not happy with the first home, but have hope for the second, though this has no beds at the moment.
I do not want her to be moved to the first as an interim measure as this will make Mum worse. Each time she is moved she stops eating and drinking and she can't afford to lose any more weight.
We have thoroughly researched Homes over the years, and know the form (though thanks Beate), but I suppose I needed to know how I stood if I refused the first Home becasue it isn't in Mum's best interests and therefor not in my best interests. And if she could be discharged back to us under a section 117
 

Karjo

Registered User
Jan 11, 2012
481
we don't know when discharge will happen yet but the section 2 was converted to a section 3 and the discharge process is underway, beginning with Homes (all 2 of them) being asked to come to assess. I am not happy with the first home, but have hope for the second, though this has no beds at the moment.
I do not want her to be moved to the first as an interim measure as this will make Mum worse. Each time she is moved she stops eating and drinking and she can't afford to lose any more weight.
We have thoroughly researched Homes over the years, and know the form (though thanks Beate), but I suppose I needed to know how I stood if I refused the first Home becasue it isn't in Mum's best interests and therefor not in my best interests. And if she could be discharged back to us under a section 117[/QUOT

We were told that we could not have Mum live with us as we were too small a family unit to look after her and that a Dols could not be done from a private residence. We were kind of relieved because we did not know what we would do if Mum started smashing windows here to escape (which was a possibility in a rage as she had done it twice in the hospital, she even tried chisseling her way out of her own house before she was sectioned thinking she was locked up). However things dragged on and i was desperate to get her out of the hospital but got no help until it went to a hospital managers meeting after 6 months on section 3 and ever increasing medication. At this meeting we were not able to speak but the psychiatrist said in front of mum to the hospital managers that the family were unwilling to have her live with them. This at the time was deeply hurtful, but it could not be unsaid to mum and she could still sort of understand then.
Anyway in retrospect I think you can refuse 117 aftercare, but you then run the risk i suppose of no help from SS or the NHS and then you could risk charges of neglect or abuse if things went wrong. I do sometimes wonder why the psychiatrist said what he said though, maybe it is worth exploring if you think you could cope.
 

Lulu

Registered User
Nov 28, 2004
391
Thanks Karjo. I do worry about having mum back home as well, and being able to cope as she is currently on one-0ne., needs a lot of care and constant attention. But neither do I waant to place her somewhere I am not comfortable with. Quite a dilemma.
 

Karjo

Registered User
Jan 11, 2012
481
In addition to my last post you know your Mum best and how she is likely to react. Make a list of why you think the first nursing home wont cope. My mum was in assessmemt units twice as her first home failed and she was evicted.
I felt very unsure with my mum with the next home that was suggested as bar a stay in the assessment unit the home suggested seemed worse than the first home and nothing had changed. I asked a few awkward questions and I failed the assessment (so I was told) and to be honest the hospital were furious, threatened to take guardianship of mum and said I was unrealistic in my expectations of care. i just didn't want mum to be left unsupervised with other vulnerable patients who she could harm or where she could be harmed as happened in her first home. I told them to find her a placement and do it themselves as I just couldn't be party to it. They put her into yet another home and it failed pretty immediately though the layout was better and the carers were much better. To be honest the hospital were being unrealistic about my mum, not me being unrealistic, I knew what she would be like. As it turns out she has remained in the this home (despite notice of eviction) as no where else will now take her and she is on one to one until they can sort her meds. They have been trying this with meds for 3 years now and none of the meds have had much effect, but fingers crossed she may settle.
Sorry this is probably not much help, but Mum seems to have survived 4 upheavals, not sure I have though. You just need to look at a home with a view to your Mums safety and how they can manage her particular needs, but be careful not to ask too many questions as one fhing I have learned is the system does not like to be questioned. Or am i just cynical?
 

Lulu

Registered User
Nov 28, 2004
391
Sounds like you, and your Mum have been throught he mill. No I don't think you are being cynical. You are right! I know Mum best, and I shall make a list. Do hope things settle down for you. Meds don;t help my mum either -so far.