• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

bereft

salsasal

New member
Aug 12, 2021
1
0
My husband of 51 years went into care yesterday and I cannot stop crying. He was getting very unsteady and confused. I have coped for the past 5years but as I am in my late eighties it was getting to hard to help him. we have no family so it was just we two. I love him as much today as the day we got married. Who can I turn to.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
11,676
0
Southampton
is it worth calling admiral nurses as they support the person caring for the person with dementia[PWD]. i know he is now in residential care but you have and still caring for him even if its at more of a distance. thats a good chunk of your life you have been married and together with your husband. its almost like a bereavement but may also be a relief from caring for those years. take things at your own pace and if you want to cry, then do it as it will release the pressure
 

try again

Registered User
Jun 21, 2018
441
0
Sorry to hear about your husband. You have managed well for the last few years looking after him. His needs have obviously become too difficult for you to manage . Be assured he is safe and being looked after.
It will take a while for you to adjust to this change in your life, it's very difficult to 'wind down' after caring for someone so don't feel the need to rush.
It will take your husband time to settle in and you may have been advised not to visit him for a while. If so, have you any family or friends you've been putting off a visit to?
Hopefully, you and your husband will find a new balance in your relationship and be able to enjoy each others company and be more of a wife than a nurse.
As far as finding help, I guess that depends on what help you need. Many people on here are going through or have gone through situations similar to yours. Even if they haven't this is a good place if all you want to do is sound off or ask for advice.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
66,647
0
71
Dundee
I’m so sorry to read of your situation @salsasal.

I’m so glad you have found this forum. I know you will get the best of support and understanding here. Do keep posting.

As @jennifer1967 says it’s worth phoning Admiral Nurses. There is a helpline and you can read more about their service here -

is
Their phone number is 0800 888 6678
 

HardToLetGo

Registered User
Oct 10, 2020
69
0
My husband of 51 years went into care yesterday and I cannot stop crying. He was getting very unsteady and confused. I have coped for the past 5years but as I am in my late eighties it was getting to hard to help him. we have no family so it was just we two. I love him as much today as the day we got married. Who can I turn to.
So glad you have turned in this direction Salsasal, lots of good wishes to you and your dear husband and many more special moments together. I hope there might be things you can lean into locally to help you adjust. Thinking of you, let us know how you are getting on 🌻