Being accused of stealing by my mother.

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by Talkinghead, Oct 10, 2018.

  1. Talkinghead

    Talkinghead New member

    Oct 10, 2018
    1
    My mother has had serious word finding difficulties and memory problems, probably for a couple of years now. She has her first memory clinic next month. There was a flood in her house and she had to move out temporarily but is now back home. I took a small number of pictures and photos out of the flooded house to dry them off. A few other items haven’t turned up from the insurers. I am being accused of stealing a clock, as she thought she saw her clock on the mantelpiece in my house! I brought my clock to show her, and she agreed it wasn’t her clock but thought I had switched them around!! I did visit her and she was quite cold and grumpy with me because of this. Can I get help for her? Don’t think she would go to the GP if anyone suggested that to her, and she’d never get a visit. I’m the only family nearby. I’ve told my sister who is in the States.
     
  2. Normaleila

    Normaleila Registered User

    Jun 4, 2016
    472
    Please don't worry. These accusations are not uncommon. No one with any knowledge of dementia will believe them. My aunt accused everyone in turn of theft. Good luck with the memory clinic.
     
  3. karaokePete

    karaokePete Volunteer Host

    Jul 23, 2017
    3,045
    Male
    N Ireland
    Hello @Talkinghead, welcome to TP. I hope you find the forum to be a friendly and supportive place.

    Do take a good look around the site as it is a goldmine for information. When I first joined I read old threads for information but then found the AS Publications list and the page where a post code search can be done to check for support services in ones own area. If you are interested in these, clicking the following links will take you there

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets-full-list

    https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

    You will see that there are Factsheets that will help with things like getting care needs assessments, deciding the level of care required and sorting out useful things like Wills, Power of Attorney etc.
     
  4. Lynmax

    Lynmax Registered User

    Nov 1, 2016
    37
    My mum accuses my niece (her granddaughter) of taking ornaments from her house and putting them in my sisters cellar! My sister does not have a cellar and my mum has no ornaments of any value to steal! The problem is my mum happily potters around her house, moving things around, finding old objects in drawers and cupboards but then cannot remember where she has put any thing! We just ignore her, tut expressively and change the subject. Poor Hannah, age 16, loves her grandma and goes around on her own to spend a few hours with her then gets this! Luckily she finds it funny and it does not stop her visiting.

    The strange thing is that a year or so back, mum was convinced she had head lice given to her by this same granddaughter! We could not convince her that she did not have head lice and just because Hannah has long hair it does not mean she gave them to her! But that phase has passed and now it is stealing from her!

    My sister and brother have a whatsapp group and we share everything that we do for mum, all her oddities and obsessions so we are all aware of what is going on and there are no secrets between us. Luckily for me she seems to think very highly of my children so is not nasty about them but I do not like her saying these untruths about my niece who I am very close to - but we know it is not mum speaking, it is her dementia.
     

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