1. Expert Q&A: Dementia Research, Tuesday 26th March, 3-4pm

    At Alzheimer's Society our research program focuses on improving care for people with dementia today and finding a cure for tomorrow.

    Hannah from our Research Team will be answering your questions on all our research efforts on Tuesday 26 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Ma May

    Ma May Registered User

    Sep 14, 2018
    13
    Female
    Bournemouth, Dorset
    Not a moan, rant or anything like that! I am interested in the changes partners have seen with regard to behaviour. For instance my husband was told to,reduce / stop alcohol. He was drinking a bottle of wine a night which he mixed with diluted summer fruits. I added water to the bottle gradually to the point it is all water bar a drizzle of wine - he has no idea..... and gaily tells anyone he drinks a bottle a night! he used to love the TV on when we went to bed - now it has to be turned off or he huffs and puffs. He drinks cups of tea one after the other and smokes (A LOT). He obviously gets up for the toilet in the middle of the night and lately has started wanting a cigarette but tries to tell me the dog wanted to go out (who was sound asleep on my bed until he opened the patio door ) he is compliant when I tell him not to be so silly it's the middle of the night and he's to get back to bed. He has also started putting the light on in the toilet which he has never ever done at night! I am fascinated by how their minds work and for as much as he drives me completely insane with his quirks I find myself wondering what's coming next. He is one happy chappy - like having a 5 year old that never learns or grows up
     
  2. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,282
    Male
    Bristol
    It's sad to see the people we love deteriorating, but if they are fairly easy going an generally happy like your husband and my partner it does make caring that bit easier. She has not really changed or developed quirks, just seems to slowly lose interest in television or the ability to follow a conversation. The analogy with a 5 year old that never grows up is sad, but true. It drives my OH's daughter mad.
     
  3. Ma May

    Ma May Registered User

    Sep 14, 2018
    13
    Female
    Bournemouth, Dorset
    It is sad to keep watching little pieces disappear and despite my cheery disposition I shed a tear every day for what has gone. I guess I take it in my stride as I work four days a week so when I get home I’m ready for the same conversation as the past few days. But I am lucky because he just finds everything I say funny and I hope this lasts as long as possible. My children are also driven insane with some of his actions! He also has lost the ability to follow conversations. He watches rhe chase, pointless, tipping point, tenable all the time - all the repeats although he doesn’t remember if it’s the same episode as the day before and thinks I’m super clever when I get all the answers right!
     
  4. Maggie

    Maggie Registered User

    Tea, coffee, Cigarettes ....
    Too much tea, could result in increased anxiety, heart palpitations, insomnia, restlessness.
    what all they have in common It’s a stimulant.

    Even without all those stimulate, it's a normal symptom for someone one with any type of dementia to have high anxiety.

    Wondering around at nighttime tuning lights on.
    My mother use to do that.

    cutting Tea down as
    caffeine, a potent stimulant.
    which people think its higher in coffee then tea & its not .

    I am high tea coffee drinker & can get Anxiety attacks from drinking to much tea & coffie when I have to much stress in my life.

    Let alone someone who has a diagnose of a dementia.

    Could make the tea more milky for your husband.
    Or change to decafe tea, but even decaf has some caffeine in it.

    life changing habits hard to break.


    Well done for doing what you do with your husband alcohol consummation.
     
  5. Maryland

    Maryland Registered User

    Mar 30, 2015
    57
    North East UK
    My OH has now started the obsession if locking en-suite door from the outside with whatever he can find whether it be scissors paper Clips etc as he says someone going to break in even though we have burglar alarms in the windows ,, this can be a pain in the middle of the night when you can’t get in to go to the loo and you have to find something to open the door
     
  6. Maggie

    Maggie Registered User

    Nursing Care I work in now.
    I notice that all Toilets doors have no locks on them.

    Resident rooms can be locked from the inside, but we have one key in office that opens all Residents doors.

    Just wondering would you consider taking the lock of completely, from the en-suite door?
     
  7. Maryland

    Maryland Registered User

    Mar 30, 2015
    57
    North East UK
    Thanks Maggie was th8nking that
     
  8. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    8,653
    Female
    South coast
    @Maryland - another thought.
    Is the reason that he thinks someone is trying to break in through the ensuite because he sees himself in the mirror and does not recognise it as himself?
     
  9. Ma May

    Ma May Registered User

    Sep 14, 2018
    13
    Female
    Bournemouth, Dorset
    I have experienced his first major meltdown tonight... he wanted money for a bet on the horses tomorrow. We don’t have any spare money so I said it wasn’t possible. He has asked before and been fine. This time he burst into tears and had a major tantrum telling me his life was over. I walked away and he has now calmed down but is still crying. Any advice from anyone?
     
  10. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    8,653
    Female
    South coast
    Saying "no" to my OH was like a red rag to a bull.
    I will pass on a little tip that I was told and I have found helps.

    Say no, without using the word "no".
    Start the sentence with the word "yes" and then say what you need to say - even if you are actually saying no.

    eg Yes, we dont have the money
    or, Yes, I can get it tomorrow - (if you think he will have forgotten about it by then)
    or, Yes, remind me tomorrow - (ditto)
     
  11. Ma May

    Ma May Registered User

    Sep 14, 2018
    13
    Female
    Bournemouth, Dorset
    It’s hearbreaking the things they suddenly seem to do. I agree with the possibility of taking lock off. It’s just an endless disease where you just never know what you are going to wake up to
     
  12. Ma May

    Ma May Registered User

    Sep 14, 2018
    13
    Female
    Bournemouth, Dorset
    Thank you. I will remember this for next time! He’s taken himself to bed now...
     

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