• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Behaviour challenge

Reds

Registered User
Sep 5, 2011
541
Hertfordshire
Hi all

I really don't know what to do!

My husband has been attending some groups for something to do but he gets too hyper and his inappropriate joking can cause problems.

He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years ago, but is so good in many ways.

Do I just give up on him going to groups? He has enjoyed them but one of the problems is at one group there is not enough volunteers so my husband probably isn't sort of supervised enough.

The groups have helped me immensely as I can get my shopping etc done when I hope that he is having a nice time and being looked after. It is a huge worry for me to leave him at home alone and he is only in his 60's and still so interested in life. At home his behaviour is on the whole ok. He is never inappropriate at home and enjoys watching the news, documentaries, puzzles etc. Its only when he is with people that his jocular behaviour gets out of hand. The leader of the group who rang today even suggested residential care but I don't think he is at that stage yet. He still enjoys walks with me and family members, helps around the house. The leader is only going by the behaviour at the group.

I feel so worried about what's best to do. It would be a huge worry to leave him at home alone at all as he might knock on the neighbour's door or something.

Reds
 

sistermillicent

Registered User
Jan 30, 2009
2,949
Can you get a carer to come to the house for a few hours a couple of times a week? It is such a shame that he can't go to groups any more and I am really rather shocked that it has been suggested he should go to full time residential care when you are coping ok but just need a bit of time off on a regular basis. Keep pushing SS to get you this.
 

ElizabethAnn

Registered User
Jan 4, 2014
189
North Hampshire
Or, if your husband enjoys the group, have a one to one carer (or friend/volunteer) accompany him to the group where there are not enough helpers, to help supervise ?
 

Suzanna1969

Registered User
Mar 28, 2015
346
Essex
Thanks for the replies.

I don't know how to get a carer plus I don't think we could have afford to.

Reds
You don't say who runs the group, maybe they can advise?

If no joy there contact your local Age UK and see if they can suggest something. You never know...
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,905
London
What kind of groups are we talking about? If it's a day centre for people with dementia they really ought to know how to deal with him. If it isn't maybe look into attending one? Age UK could also maybe supply a sitting/befriending service.
 

Reds

Registered User
Sep 5, 2011
541
Hertfordshire
Two groups for dementia. I thought people with dementia had all sorts of behavioural problems but the groups seem to find my husband's jocular behaviour too much. The rest of the people that go are very quiet and older ages. I think its more a case of their lack of volunteers and staff plus they have to cover their own backs if something my husband says upsets someone. I am shocked myself that even these groups can't give the support to a vulnerable husband like my husband. Their must be other's behaviour that is worse, he is not violent. Does joke inappropriately but he is a decent man.

Reds
 

Pickles53

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
2,474
Radcliffe on Trent
Get in touch with Social Services and ask for a needs assessment for your husband and a carer's assessment for yourself. That should be the gateway to some carer support/sitting service/etc. You may not have to pay anything depending on your circumstances.

Also talk to your local Age UK/AS as they should have a good idea how your local services work and what kind of help is typically offered.