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Behaviour challenge

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Reds, Jun 1, 2015.

  1. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire
    Hi all

    I really don't know what to do!

    My husband has been attending some groups for something to do but he gets too hyper and his inappropriate joking can cause problems.

    He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years ago, but is so good in many ways.

    Do I just give up on him going to groups? He has enjoyed them but one of the problems is at one group there is not enough volunteers so my husband probably isn't sort of supervised enough.

    The groups have helped me immensely as I can get my shopping etc done when I hope that he is having a nice time and being looked after. It is a huge worry for me to leave him at home alone and he is only in his 60's and still so interested in life. At home his behaviour is on the whole ok. He is never inappropriate at home and enjoys watching the news, documentaries, puzzles etc. Its only when he is with people that his jocular behaviour gets out of hand. The leader of the group who rang today even suggested residential care but I don't think he is at that stage yet. He still enjoys walks with me and family members, helps around the house. The leader is only going by the behaviour at the group.

    I feel so worried about what's best to do. It would be a huge worry to leave him at home alone at all as he might knock on the neighbour's door or something.

    Reds
     
  2. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    2,951
    Can you get a carer to come to the house for a few hours a couple of times a week? It is such a shame that he can't go to groups any more and I am really rather shocked that it has been suggested he should go to full time residential care when you are coping ok but just need a bit of time off on a regular basis. Keep pushing SS to get you this.
     
  3. ElizabethAnn

    ElizabethAnn Registered User

    Jan 4, 2014
    189
    North Hampshire
    Or, if your husband enjoys the group, have a one to one carer (or friend/volunteer) accompany him to the group where there are not enough helpers, to help supervise ?
     
  4. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire
    Thanks for the replies.

    I don't know how to get a carer plus I don't think we could have afford to.

    Reds
     
  5. Suzanna1969

    Suzanna1969 Registered User

    Mar 28, 2015
    346
    Essex
    You don't say who runs the group, maybe they can advise?

    If no joy there contact your local Age UK and see if they can suggest something. You never know...
     
  6. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    2,951
    Dad got his carers for mum free as a result of his carer's assessment.
     
  7. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,716
    Female
    London
    What kind of groups are we talking about? If it's a day centre for people with dementia they really ought to know how to deal with him. If it isn't maybe look into attending one? Age UK could also maybe supply a sitting/befriending service.
     
  8. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire
    Two groups for dementia. I thought people with dementia had all sorts of behavioural problems but the groups seem to find my husband's jocular behaviour too much. The rest of the people that go are very quiet and older ages. I think its more a case of their lack of volunteers and staff plus they have to cover their own backs if something my husband says upsets someone. I am shocked myself that even these groups can't give the support to a vulnerable husband like my husband. Their must be other's behaviour that is worse, he is not violent. Does joke inappropriately but he is a decent man.

    Reds
     
  9. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,482
    Radcliffe on Trent
    Get in touch with Social Services and ask for a needs assessment for your husband and a carer's assessment for yourself. That should be the gateway to some carer support/sitting service/etc. You may not have to pay anything depending on your circumstances.

    Also talk to your local Age UK/AS as they should have a good idea how your local services work and what kind of help is typically offered.
     
  10. Reds

    Reds Registered User

    Sep 5, 2011
    540
    Hertfordshire
    Hi

    Thanks for all your help.

    Reds
     

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