Begging to GO HOME.
- Thread starter Rageddy Anne
- Start date
Morning. Just to warn you that those fasteners, though good, aren't easy with arthritic hands. When OH went for respite I used a combination of three types of label, iron-on, rivvits and sew on, depending on garment. Although ironOn will eventually come off they are fine for things that aren't worn very much whilst in the home, like coat, cap, scarf. The final labelling session I did, my cleaner helped and I was amazed at how fast she could work, compared to me and my arthritic hands!
Anne, who set up the helper for you? Was it Social Services or have you done it through an agency? Its just that if its either of those two, they should really have organised cover for you. Its just horrible that you have been left high and dry like this.
Can you find the energy to get on the phone to the GP and do a bit of screaming? Its just so disgusting that you have been left hanging like this as regards medication
I'd also think about phoning the consultants office yourself, and doing abit of screaming there too. Easy to advise, not so easy to do when you are as exhausted as you must be.
Really wish I could do something or advise something to make it all just a little easier for you xxxxxx
Can you find the energy to get on the phone to the GP and do a bit of screaming? Its just so disgusting that you have been left hanging like this as regards medication
I'd also think about phoning the consultants office yourself, and doing abit of screaming there too. Easy to advise, not so easy to do when you are as exhausted as you must be.Really wish I could do something or advise something to make it all just a little easier for you xxxxxx
I'm seconding what Ann has said - unless you employ sitter personally on a one to one basis there must be provision through agency/NHS for replacement cover in the event of illness/holiday?
And yes, contact GP again/consultant/CPN, whoever can get things moving quicker on the meds front - a two week wait is not remotely reasonable in your circumstances.
And yes, contact GP again/consultant/CPN, whoever can get things moving quicker on the meds front - a two week wait is not remotely reasonable in your circumstances.
Took a while for the meds in O/H case to kick in but now they things are so much calmer. Still wandering off but only up and down the road. Doctors say I should try and wean him off slowly (3 weeks been on Lorazapam) as they are addictive. I am reluctant to do this as I can see him getting more agitated as the time comes closer to him have his medicine and after having the tablet he is fine after 20 minutes. Stopping without an alternative is just unimaginable, going to see doctor next week to see what they can suggest.......
What a balancing act with meds that appear to help, but can't be given for long because of being addictive. Poor old carer has to suffer the ups and downs. Can't wait for something better to be discovered.
Longing for some respite...
This morning my wonderful sister in law took my husband to the nice Care Home where he had been accepted for a week's respite. He was in good form. An hour and a half later they were on the phone asking us to take him home. Daughter in law got the call, so she picked him up, and apparently the person in charge said he couldn't stay, though others thought they should persevere, but they were overruled.
Not sure what he could have done to offend in such a short time, but apparently he'd seen the code (written clearly above the door lock) and seems to have been attempting to organise a mass breakout of confused geriatrics!( sorry, but that made me giggle!).So he's back home, wide awake, and all my lovely plans for the week are in tatters.
On the medication front the Consultant is in favour of stopping the Respiradone and Citalopram, and is willing to try something else to raise his mood. Will come back about that later.
Husband's really good "companion" is a private arrangement, so if he's unwell there's no back up.
This morning my wonderful sister in law took my husband to the nice Care Home where he had been accepted for a week's respite. He was in good form. An hour and a half later they were on the phone asking us to take him home. Daughter in law got the call, so she picked him up, and apparently the person in charge said he couldn't stay, though others thought they should persevere, but they were overruled.
Not sure what he could have done to offend in such a short time, but apparently he'd seen the code (written clearly above the door lock) and seems to have been attempting to organise a mass breakout of confused geriatrics!( sorry, but that made me giggle!).So he's back home, wide awake, and all my lovely plans for the week are in tatters.
On the medication front the Consultant is in favour of stopping the Respiradone and Citalopram, and is willing to try something else to raise his mood. Will come back about that later.
Husband's really good "companion" is a private arrangement, so if he's unwell there's no back up.
I saw your post on the Positives thread and responded there -
I hope you have success with the medication review.
I hope you have success with the medication review.
I'm humming the great escape theme tune
Seriously though Anne an hour & a half is no time at all. I would be having words with the manager ASAP.
Words fail me, Anne.
I thought nothing could shock me where dementia care is concerned.
But I am totally shocked by the speed at which this decision was made.
As for the number being visible.......
You need to speak to the manager to see if the decision can be reversed. Good luck.
I thought nothing could shock me where dementia care is concerned.
But I am totally shocked by the speed at which this decision was made.
As for the number being visible.......
You need to speak to the manager to see if the decision can be reversed. Good luck.
As I have already said Anne words fail me. I am livid on your behalf that so called professionals could act so badly. I also think that writing the code above the door pad is a breach of regulations - at Mum's home the code wasn't given out - you just rang a bell to get the door opened by a staff member. I too would get onto SW/SS and complain if they are involved but if it was all private then I'm guessing it is just a case of speaking to the home, if you want to, to see if the problems can be resolved in order to resume the respite later today or tomorrow. Oh Anne, I am so, so sorry that this has happened, so wish I could do something actually useful.
Big, big hugs Anne,
Big, big hugs Anne,
I can't believe the code was there for anyone to see - what sort of 'secure' home is that?
At my mother's we always had to be let in and buzzed out. She was there very nearly 8 years and we were never once given the code so that we could let ourselves out.
I am so sorry your week of respite has come to nought.
At my mother's we always had to be let in and buzzed out. She was there very nearly 8 years and we were never once given the code so that we could let ourselves out.
I am so sorry your week of respite has come to nought.
I've been thinking the same Anne - I hope you are OK, Hun - can't begn to imagine how disappointed and dispirited you must feel xxxxx
The code for the front door at Mils day care used to be printed on a card and placed high on the wall above the door itself. It was taken away after Mil became the first person to 'escape' from there, though they tell me they don't think that's how she actually got out. It struck me as rather daft to have it on display like that, I must admit!
Life goes on
When he was back home after being "expelled" from the so called Care Home, we all made light of his"escapade", laughing and joking, and he cheered up. Of course, he had already forgotten the whole business anyway. But he was clingier than ever, and was fretful all night, so we only had about an hour's sleep.
A friend came over yesterday, and we all sat at the kitchen table, polishing the brass and chatting quietly. He settled into a fairly calm mood, had the usual frantic Sundowning all evening, then an early night. And he's slept well, thank goodness.
The same kind friend has volunteered to keep him company later today, so that I can go and enjoy a treat I'd been looking forward to.( Guardian angels DO exist!)
I expected to hear from the Care Home yesterday, but to my surprise I haven't yet heard a word..
I emailed the Gp's surgery yesterday morning too, to ask that the new meds we were to start after his week's respite could be brought forward. No reply from them either. Am I invisible?
Thank you, everyone, for those kind wirds, on various threads.
When he was back home after being "expelled" from the so called Care Home, we all made light of his"escapade", laughing and joking, and he cheered up. Of course, he had already forgotten the whole business anyway. But he was clingier than ever, and was fretful all night, so we only had about an hour's sleep.
A friend came over yesterday, and we all sat at the kitchen table, polishing the brass and chatting quietly. He settled into a fairly calm mood, had the usual frantic Sundowning all evening, then an early night. And he's slept well, thank goodness.
The same kind friend has volunteered to keep him company later today, so that I can go and enjoy a treat I'd been looking forward to.( Guardian angels DO exist!)
I expected to hear from the Care Home yesterday, but to my surprise I haven't yet heard a word..
I emailed the Gp's surgery yesterday morning too, to ask that the new meds we were to start after his week's respite could be brought forward. No reply from them either. Am I invisible?
Thank you, everyone, for those kind wirds, on various threads.
Cinderella went to the Ball!
Well, actually my treat was the Opera. Bliss! Being driven through London with all the Christmas lights and shop windows, dinner at the Opera House, intelligent conversation, wonderful music....Its sometimes easy to forget what a wonderful world there is out there. That sort of respite is really valuable, I think.
More later, as today it's back to the one on one....and duty calls... Wee wee to wipe up..the usual things.
My Guardian angel asked how on earth I cope every day, all day. Well, sometimes I get some time off, a private arrangement as nothing has ever been offered.
Well, actually my treat was the Opera. Bliss! Being driven through London with all the Christmas lights and shop windows, dinner at the Opera House, intelligent conversation, wonderful music....Its sometimes easy to forget what a wonderful world there is out there. That sort of respite is really valuable, I think.
More later, as today it's back to the one on one....and duty calls... Wee wee to wipe up..the usual things.
My Guardian angel asked how on earth I cope every day, all day. Well, sometimes I get some time off, a private arrangement as nothing has ever been offered.
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What a lovely time out Anne - a real escape
The reason they have codes above doors is really worrying because it demonstrates that the care staff have worse memories AND are being paid than the residents who have better memories AND are paying a fortune. They would say that it is for visitors of course, implying that the visitors are next on the waiting list! Absolutely ridiculous.
Even more absurd that they sent him home - he should have been given a pat on the back and celebratory party with cake for being so creative...............I despair of this world
The reason they have codes above doors is really worrying because it demonstrates that the care staff have worse memories AND are being paid than the residents who have better memories AND are paying a fortune. They would say that it is for visitors of course, implying that the visitors are next on the waiting list! Absolutely ridiculous.
Even more absurd that they sent him home - he should have been given a pat on the back and celebratory party with cake for being so creative...............I despair of this world
...so I rang the GPsurgery, and it turns out the new medication is waiting to be collected.
The wonderful (privately arranged) man who comes to the house and takes my husband out, or stays in with him, is still too poorly to come. I had plans for yesterday, including picking up the new meds, but he didn't arrive, and when I checked, there was an email. He seems to be very poorly.So all my plans had to be cancelled.
A lovely lady we've met before from the Alzheimer's Association popped in. She knows our Private Arrangement man, and perhaps he contacted her. She caught a little glimpse of my husband's state.....he's so good at disguising it but with her understanding she could read the signs. She's going to contact an agency that has a good reputation in this area. I hope they don't arrive with a clip board!
The wonderful (privately arranged) man who comes to the house and takes my husband out, or stays in with him, is still too poorly to come. I had plans for yesterday, including picking up the new meds, but he didn't arrive, and when I checked, there was an email. He seems to be very poorly.So all my plans had to be cancelled.
A lovely lady we've met before from the Alzheimer's Association popped in. She knows our Private Arrangement man, and perhaps he contacted her. She caught a little glimpse of my husband's state.....he's so good at disguising it but with her understanding she could read the signs. She's going to contact an agency that has a good reputation in this area. I hope they don't arrive with a clip board!
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The Respite that didn't happen...
The Care Home manager emailed me, very sorry they couldn't cope with my husband on Sunday, when he was supposed to be starting a week's respite.( we were asked to remove him)
Apparently they could see he needed one to one attention, and because she hadn't realised that, she hadn't arranged staff with that in mind. She said if she'd known he'd been assessed as needing one to one she would have made the arrangements. And then she wrote about him appearing capable to make the decision to leave, and the difficulty without a thing called a DOLLS. Luckily I knew that's a legal term that stands for Deprivation of liberty.
So I replied saying no assessment of that nature had been made, and where did that opinion come from. The person who brought him in, apparently. My lovely sister in law, who took him,is currently busy helping other family members, so I haven't heard from her, but I can imagine she might have suggested one to one to start off, but that's hardly an assessment, just common sense. I believe he became agitated when he couldn't see the carer with whom he started off.
So I asked the manager if they would have been able to care for him if the legal situation had been in place. Well, she replied, that would be one to one, and hugely expensive.
So there you have it.
The Care Home manager emailed me, very sorry they couldn't cope with my husband on Sunday, when he was supposed to be starting a week's respite.( we were asked to remove him)
Apparently they could see he needed one to one attention, and because she hadn't realised that, she hadn't arranged staff with that in mind. She said if she'd known he'd been assessed as needing one to one she would have made the arrangements. And then she wrote about him appearing capable to make the decision to leave, and the difficulty without a thing called a DOLLS. Luckily I knew that's a legal term that stands for Deprivation of liberty.
So I replied saying no assessment of that nature had been made, and where did that opinion come from. The person who brought him in, apparently. My lovely sister in law, who took him,is currently busy helping other family members, so I haven't heard from her, but I can imagine she might have suggested one to one to start off, but that's hardly an assessment, just common sense. I believe he became agitated when he couldn't see the carer with whom he started off.
So I asked the manager if they would have been able to care for him if the legal situation had been in place. Well, she replied, that would be one to one, and hugely expensive.
So there you have it.
