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Befrienders

Trisha4

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
2,440
Yorkshire
We are very lucky to have been assigned a wonderful befriender for Mick. He has done so much he can speak about but he also listens to Mick. His first visit since we moved last week is tomorrow and he has bought an OS map and says he and Mick have a 'project' together to find good walks around our new home to take Stanley dog on. Mick is always brighter after his visit.


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Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
We are very lucky to have been assigned a wonderful befriender for Mick. He has done so much he can speak about but he also listens to Mick. His first visit since we moved last week is tomorrow and he has bought an OS map and says he and Mick have a 'project' together to find good walks around our new home to take Stanley dog on. Mick is always brighter after his visit.


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I'm so glad this is working out well. I'd love to do the same once I'm sorted out with everything else. Good news is lovely to read. All the best to you both.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,035
Scotland
That's wonderful for both of you. At a very low ebb at the start of the year I was assigned two male volunteers who walked and talked with John while I went for a swim. I honestly believe they prevented me from breaking down. Even though both sessions were about two hours it made a huge difference.
 

Grey Lad

Registered User
Sep 12, 2014
5,736
North East Lincs
We are very lucky to have been assigned a wonderful befriender for Mick. He has done so much he can speak about but he also listens to Mick. His first visit since we moved last week is tomorrow and he has bought an OS map and says he and Mick have a 'project' together to find good walks around our new home to take Stanley dog on. Mick is always brighter after his visit.


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Great news Trish that has set me thinking. Our carers are great but are very young. I am just wondering if a befriender would help Maureen?
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
11,906
London
She would have to be very carefully matched, I'd say with a middle-aged woman in her case who shares some of her interests and could take her out for walks if she'd like that. It works fantastically for my OH tough she might put up some resistance about spending time with other people instead of you. But it's worth a try as it would be good for you if Maureen accepted other people spending time with her. In our neck of the woods, most befrienders come through Age UK but after the initial six weeks SS had to approve and pay for.
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,506
Near Southampton
There was no suggestion of befrienders hereabouts but then we saw nobody.
I think I should have found TP a long time before I did.
Then I might have actually asked for the help I didn't know was available instead of thinking we just had to get on with things ourselves.
The trouble is that it's not always there, depending on where you live.
 

Grey Lad

Registered User
Sep 12, 2014
5,736
North East Lincs
She would have to be very carefully matched, I'd say with a middle-aged woman in her case who shares some of her interests and could take her out for walks if she'd like that. It works fantastically for my OH tough she might put up some resistance about spending time with other people instead of you. But it's worth a try as it would be good for you if Maureen accepted other people spending time with her. In our neck of the woods, most befrienders come through Age UK but after the initial six weeks SS had to approve and pay for.
Thanks Beate a good point she is partly 80 so is as you say middle aged. I certainly hope so as I am rather fond of her and we have lot of living, and dancing, to do!
 

truth24

Registered User
Oct 13, 2013
5,725
North Somerset
You are lucky. The AS contact here offered us a befriender but didn't come up with anyone. Probably none avaliable at the time. I think it would have done Fred a lot of good. He did have a male sitter from Crossroads and while he was good with Fred at home he never volunteered to take him out at all, which was a shame.
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
There was no suggestion of befrienders hereabouts but then we saw nobody.
I think I should have found TP a long time before I did.
Then I might have actually asked for the help I didn't know was available instead of thinking we just had to get on with things ourselves.
The trouble is that it's not always there, depending on where you live.
It always upsets me to see others have had to walk the same lonely path I did :( I was late finding TP, too, Saffie. Are things any better now?
 

Nutty Nan

Registered User
Nov 2, 2003
790
Buckinghamshire
Volunteer Befrienders

The Alzheimer's Society provides this service in some areas, but they tend to allocate volunteers to people who live on their own, in order to reduce loneliness and isolation.

I have been a Befriender for several years, and can wholeheartedly recommend it. I received some training, I was police checked and matched to my Befriendee according to various criteria such as location, interests, etc. I only visit for an hour every week, but we have a happy, chatty, sociable time, we often play Dominoes and I always come away with a smile on my face.

This is unlikely to be something someone would take on if they are already caring for a loved one at home, but if there are any neighbours, friends, relatives or ex-carers out there with a little spare time on their hand - please point them in the direction of their nearest Alzheimer's office :).

Carmen
 

Trisha4

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
2,440
Yorkshire
Great news Trish that has set me thinking. Our carers are great but are very young. I am just wondering if a befriender would help Maureen?
Hi GL. Our local Alzheimers society office has someone employed who runs the befriender service. She trains befrienders and matches befrienders to folk who need them. She accompanied the befriender for the first couple of visits then, when she saw it was all working, off we went. The befriender manager rings frequently to check everything is ok and has review meetings with the befrienders. It would be worth asking at your local AD office or look online. Best of luck x


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Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,506
Near Southampton
It always upsets me to see others have had to walk the same lonely path I did I was late finding TP, too, Saffie. Are things any better now?
Thanks Chuggalug. I'm afraid that Dave has no need of a befriender now as he died last summer. Path is still pretty lonely though!
 

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