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Bed time rantings

Littlebear

Registered User
Jan 6, 2017
93
Recently my OH has started going to bed very early - anytime from 19:30 onwards. I've tried to get him to stay downstairs for longer but he doesn't want to. The past few days within a short time of getting into bed he starts shouting and swearing, hitting the bed/walls and slamming doors. I go up to him but am only met with abuse and asked why I've sent him to bed. I've tried talking to him calmly, suggesting he comes back downstairs, ignoring him but nothing seems to make any difference. After about half an hour he eventually goes to sleep. He's on a low dose of mirtazapine. He has FTD - one of the speech variants. I've spoken to the dementia nurse and she's referred me back to the consultant but that appointment could take ages to come through. Any suggestions as to how best to deal with this new occurrence?
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,512
N Ireland
As this is a recent and sudden development it may be something like an infection at play. A chat with the GP may be worthwhile.
 

Littlebear

Registered User
Jan 6, 2017
93
As this is a recent and sudden development it may be something like an infection at play. A chat with the GP may be worthwhile.
He had a health check, full bloods etc on Monday and no physical problems. He's the same as ever during the day, it's just when he goes to bed & I've no idea what the trigger is.
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,512
N Ireland
Some of the side effects of Mirtazapine noted on the on-line copy of it's information leaflet seem to apply to your situation. These are

Common (may affect up to 1 in 10 people): • lethargy • tiredness • confusion • feeling anxious

Uncommon (may affect up to 1 in 100 people): • feeling agitated • hallucinations • urge to move

Rare (may affect up to 1 in 1,000 people): • feeling aggressive

It may be worth talking to the GP about this as a possibility.

Whatever way it goes I do hope you find a solution for both your sakes.
 

Ohso

Registered User
Jan 4, 2018
168
Last week my mum began getting agitated around 7.30/8.00
She is in bed most of the day so has no 'bed time' , we suspected a UTI and although is being treated for such it is awaiting confirmation with results of lab tests.
I found that by sitting with her or even just in the same room helped, it meant l was there immediately she began to show signs of distress sometimes being scared as she didnt know where she was or simply just expressing fear 'are we safe?' Or despair ' l dont know what to do, l dont know whats wrong' l felt by staying it saved precious minutes between her stirring and going 0-100 in anxiety, maybe going up to bed with him and pottering close by may soothe him and keep him calm enough to go off to sleep peacefully.
Hope you sort it, it was so upsetting to see my mum distressed.
 
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Littlebear

Registered User
Jan 6, 2017
93
Last week my mum began getting agitated around 7.30/8.00
She is in bed most of the day so has no 'bed time' as such, we suspected a UTI and although is being treated for such it is awaiting confirmation with results of lab tests.
I found that by sitting with her or even just in the same room helped, it meant l was there immediately she began to show signs of distress sometimes being scared as she didnt know where she was or simply just expressing fear 'are we safe?' Or despair ' l dont know what to do, l dont know whats wrong' l felt by staying it saved precious minutes between her stirring and going 0-100 in anxiety, maybe going up to bed with him and potteribg close by may soothe him and keep him calm enough to go off to sleep peacefully.
Hope you sort it, it was so upsetting to see my mum distressed.
I did wonder about doing that. I'll try tomorrow & see. Thanks.
 

Littlebear

Registered User
Jan 6, 2017
93
Some of the side effects of Mirtazapine noted on the on-line copy of it's information leaflet seem to apply to your situation. These are

Common (may affect up to 1 in 10 people): • lethargy • tiredness • confusion • feeling anxious

Uncommon (may affect up to 1 in 100 people): • feeling agitated • hallucinations • urge to move

Rare (may affect up to 1 in 1,000 people): • feeling aggressive

It may be worth talking to the GP about this as a possibility.

Whatever way it goes I do hope you find a solution for both your sakes.
Thanks. For some reason the Dementia Nurse wanted the consultant to review his meds. I find she's much more clued up about dementia than the GP so went along with it but if it continues like this I might go back to the GP. Problem is without the Mirtzapine he's 1000 times worse!!
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,105
Scotland
My husband is in bed by 7.30 pm too but I go upstairs with him and go through his routine with him of brushing his teeth, going to the toilet, making sure he's clean and changing him into his pjs. I also tuck him in and ask if he is warm enough and comfortable. By the time I've done all of that I feel like his nanny but he does seem reassured and relaxed and sleeps through the night nowadays apart from when I get him up to the toilet about 12 am then back to bed and sleeps straight away.

The only thing he takes is Trazodone anti depressant which keeps him calm.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,660
South coast
Recently my OH has started going to bed very early - anytime from 19:30 onwards. I've tried to get him to stay downstairs for longer but he doesn't want to. The past few days within a short time of getting into bed he starts shouting and swearing, hitting the bed/walls and slamming doors. I go up to him but am only met with abuse and asked why I've sent him to bed. I've tried talking to him calmly, suggesting he comes back downstairs, ignoring him but nothing seems to make any difference.
I must say that this sounds like sundowning - a period of increased confusion and agitation which comes on late afternoon/night. Night rages can be a feature of FTD.

Dont argue with him, or say something like "but it was your decision to go to bed". If he says he wants to get up just say "yes, of course you can get up".
 

PJD

Registered User
Apr 4, 2019
14
I must say that this sounds like sundowning - a period of increased confusion and agitation which comes on late afternoon/night. Night rages can be a feature of FTD.

Dont argue with him, or say something like "but it was your decision to go to bed". If he says he wants to get up just say "yes, of course you can get up".
I must say that this sounds like sundowning - a period of increased confusion and agitation which comes on late afternoon/night. Night rages can be a feature of FTD.

Dont argue with him, or say something like "but it was your decision to go to bed". If he says he wants to get up just say "yes, of course you can get up".
My wife has become very agitated at night as she does not recognise the bedroom, today she was agitated because she did not know where she was when we came downstairs," I don`t live here" she said "nothing here". An age before she would eat or drink. Progression I suppose and yes she can get angry and slam doors. Very difficult to cope with unless you are very patient and easy going.
 

Littlebear

Registered User
Jan 6, 2017
93
Last week my mum began getting agitated around 7.30/8.00
She is in bed most of the day so has no 'bed time' , we suspected a UTI and although is being treated for such it is awaiting confirmation with results of lab tests.
I found that by sitting with her or even just in the same room helped, it meant l was there immediately she began to show signs of distress sometimes being scared as she didnt know where she was or simply just expressing fear 'are we safe?' Or despair ' l dont know what to do, l dont know whats wrong' l felt by staying it saved precious minutes between her stirring and going 0-100 in anxiety, maybe going up to bed with him and pottering close by may soothe him and keep him calm enough to go off to sleep peacefully.
Hope you sort it, it was so upsetting to see my mum distressed.
Thanks for your suggestions. I always go up with him & settle him in bed but tonight I hung around longer - put a few things away & generally pottered. It seemed to work & it's been peaceful ever since. Will do the same tomorrow with hopefully the same result. Fingers crossed!
 

Ohso

Registered User
Jan 4, 2018
168
Littlebear - thats great, long may it continue. :)
Just as an aside, take each day as it comes as it may not always work but I do think calm and routine are the key, certainly seem to be for my mum/for now, so I try to make sure that her bedroom is well lit from 07.30am and darkened from 07.30pm meals are given at approx same time each day and her activity is similarly routine.
Signals its time for bed seem to be working too, for mum it is a hot chocolate and something to eat, toasted pancakes or my latest effort, an Allbran loaf, sliced and buttered, serves two purposes, is a memory from my childhood as she used to make it for me and....boy does it seems to be working to keep her...um....'regular' :p
That said, a couple of nights ago she did have me awake at half past midnight unsettled and agitated so I again sat with her, comforted her and offered to sit with her till she fell asleep, this seems to be all she needs at the moment which is fine by me ( having read others experiences about hours and hours of nighttime wandering/door rattling etc, I seem to have it easy for now)
 

Ohso

Registered User
Jan 4, 2018
168
Thanks for your suggestions. I always go up with him & settle him in bed but tonight I hung around longer - put a few things away & generally pottered. It seemed to work & it's been peaceful ever since. Will do the same tomorrow with hopefully the same result. Fingers crossed!
How are thing going, mum has been having pretty good nights recently so wondered how you were getting on.
Here everyday is a learning day, this morning l have opened mums curtains (7.30 as per our routine) and she is still fast asleep.....with a wet pull-up next to the commode she has used in the night, so l had to decide just to leave her asleep and risk a wet bed and all that goes along with that, or wake her, l decided to leave her as waking her just leads to distress and hopefully if the bed is wet l can deal with it sensitively while the carer is in so mum isnt even aware as she would be embarrassed if she does have that level of understanding.

Edited to add...dry bed...:)
 
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