Becoming more mood swings and aggressive towards my family

[Defiance]

Is it normal to have more and more mood swings and be more aggressive towards my family just because they want to come for dinner. I feel I can't cope with lots of people in the house anymore. I really hate myself for feeling like this. I have mixed dementia and take 10 mg of memantine. Is this to do with dementia. Thank you.

 

[Grannie G]

I think it`s perfectly usual @Defiance Too many people are overwhelming for most of us, with or without dementia.

I hope your family are not expecting you to make dinner for them. That is far too much for you.

Your family would be better asking you what you want and possibly visiting you individually. They certainly shouldn`t expect to be fed.

It might be better if they either brought food with them when they visited of invite you to their homes for a meal.

I have no experience of the drug. They didn`t help my husband and we stopped them.

 

[Pejic]

It sounds normal to me Defiance. If like me, you have constructed a neat model of what life is all about now, the last thing you want is a whole pile of unpredictable things to cope with. No need to hate yourself for this, you are looking after yourself. If the family don't care enough to understand what you need to survive, then they are not likely to be able to give you any good input of their ideas, and what they've read or been told by other people who don't know anything about it either.
If they are too heartless to understand, just lock yourself in your room until they get the message. Best not to get overtly aggressive, as you'll probably have to rely on them in the future (distant future hopefully), associate with more people with dementia, we are beginning to get more assertive about what we need.

 

[LynneMcV]

You have no need to reproach yourself at all @Defiance - it is perfectly normal not to want lots of people in the house. As my husband's dementia progressed he felt exactly the same and we adapted accordingly.

 

[StephanT]

This is perfectly normal @Definance, like the others said. Do you know which form of Alzheimer you were diagnosed with? If it's FTD (fronto temporal dementia) , it's normal to experience some mild cognitive dissonance, which can lead to emotional confrontation with loved ones or people close to you.

I would recommend laying the cards on the table with your support network. Explain how you feel to them. Tell them the truth. Too many times, loved ones do not understand what's happening due to a lack of education and cliches perpetuated by books and movies. But this is real life - your life.

Best of luck, and keep us updated, please. There's a lot that you can do to minimize the impact of these mood swings. I am NOT a doctor, so I cannot and would never diagnose you or recommend medicine online. But a good GP will have access to certain medications that can significantly help; for example, please consider asking your doctor about SSRIs. They helped my mother, and the mood swings disappeared. This, again, is purely a suggestion. Only a doctor can make that assessment.

 

[alan_rans]

Communication is the Key! I've attached a few links

dementiacaresupportguide.com/dementia-care-at-home-language-dementia-what-not-to-say-not-do-with-dementia-patients/

dementiacaresupportguide.com/communication-difficulties-barriers-in-dementia-communication-techniques/