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Registered User
Dec 23, 2015
How can I get my mam to go to out She is so stubborn sits in the chair day be length doing her wordsearch If I mention getting up and about she ignores me


Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
Welcome to TP :)

Unfortunately you can't make her go out. She probably feels safe at home so wants to stay there.


Registered User
Oct 10, 2015
North Cornwall
Hi katmat.

My experience of dementia is that you can't apply 'normal' rules of behaviour and need to adjust your own to your mum's patterns. As Cat says, she probably feels safe at home and in a familiar place. The confusion that comes with this horrible disease is awful for all concerned and must be terrifying for the sufferer. Going out is a nice thing for us, but there are all sorts of unknowns involved and it's understandable that people may avoid it.

Heidi xx


Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
SW London
Beyond a relatively early stage I could hardly ever get my mother out, either. If I did ever manage it, she would be fretting so much half a mile down the road that I would have to take her back. In the end I gave up - it just wasn't worth the hassle. As others have said, I think it's because the person feels safe and comfortable at home. To be honest, I wouldn't waste breath or energy trying to fight it.