Bathing

[banger696]

Had a visit from the Alzheimers Society support workers today with me and mum. They mentioned getting a nurse to help with bathing and after the support workers left mum was saying she didnt want a nurse to help with bathing. To be honest I dont think she has had a bath for months but she says she has. She said getting a nurse in to help with bathing would be embarrasing and she certainly wouldnt pay for it.

Ok no nurse then, but how do I get her to have a bath? Tried hints, tried saying directly to her and to be honest she is starting to pong now. What to do ?

Tim

 

[mymemories]

Hi Tim,
I found with my Mum that being told that a 'nurse' or 'carers' were going to help her wasn't well received (and blocked at times). I think it is because, like all our parents, they were born and brought up in a time when they carried on regardless and they are not great at receiving help (or admitting when they need it).

It also makes the experience better if the bathroom is very warm (hot to you and I) I also heat the towels through and wrap her up straight away.

I'm not sure I have been of any great help but I understand your situation and hope you find a solution.

 

[banger696]

Thanks for the thoughts, but as one of the support workers said it wouldnt really be appropriate for a son to help his mother bathe.

 

[mymemories]

Indeed it wouldn't! Hope your Mum gets the support she needs.

 

[Beate]

Here's another current thread: http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/showthread.php?92631-Getting-mum-to-have-a-shower

Btw, here's a guy's thoughts on giving his Mum a shower:
http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2011/06/alzheimers-and-dreaded-shower.html

 

[Zana]

When caring for my MIL I didnt ask or tell here I had run her a bath I simply laid out her clean clothes on the bed . Then ran the bath and put her radox in it.
She always used to save Radox for special occasions. As others have mentioned I heated the bathroom to tropical tempretures and then told her I had run her bath...

She would say 'but I had one yesterday'
I would play the fool and say 'Oh no I forgot, and Ive put radox in it and everything , such a shame to waste it now'

The idea of wasting her precious radox got her in the bath everytime!

I think in many cases its the way you go about it that makes all the difference.

 

[Pear trees]

My mum used to insist she had a daily strip wash but obviously did not as we started to get comments from her lunch club transport about her personal care. I started using bathwipes which are very good until we adapted her shower. She would also never accept outside carers for personal care and has chased them out of her house with her walking stick!
She has a shower and clean clothes every other day. We just firmly but kindly tell her it's time for her shower and do it quickly with a sponge and baby wash, and she looks forward to it and enjoys*it.

 

[arielsmelody]

Could you maybe try a softly softly approach - get the carers to come in, and start by asking them to help wash and style her hair, and bathe her feet. Then as she gets more used to having them around and more comfortable with the idea, introduce the idea of them giving her a bath in a few weeks time. Most people would be a bit uncomfortable with the idea of a stranger marching in to give them a bath, but there are some lovely carers out there, so if she is a bit more relaxed with them being there, and they can jolly her along and persuade her, it might be a lot less stressful for her.

 

[banger696]

Some good ideas above. I emailed our AS support worker this very question and she will discuss with me on my own next Friday and says its a common problem.

I dont feel comfortable with the idea of washing my mum but she is dead set against carers coming in and especially paying for them to come in despite AGE UK is to visit us in mid June about Attendance Allowance.

I will have to read and such the showering thread when I get a few mins.