Back again. (26F) Waiting for my appts and I'm just so scared.

[~Raine]

It's me again. Just, needed some support right now. I feel like my life is over. I keep having constant nightmares of being diagnosed with dementia because of my symptoms.

I'm trying to find a neuropsychologist to evaluate me, but everyone covered by my insurance is an hour and a half away. (I'm in the USA.) I can't drive, my family won't take me, nor can I afford an Uber or Lyft to get me there and back for an appointment, and I'm assuming I'd be needing to go see the person multiple times. Going twice would cost me around $800. I'm trying to find someone who can at least do the first appointment over video call, but it's very limited.

I have an appointment on May 1st with my primary for bloodwork required to be referred to a neuro who specializes in neurodegenerative disorders, and on June 7th I have an appointment with the neuro who was going to replace my retiring one. Not sure which I'll be able to see sooner. I also went ahead and scheduled an EEG I had put off last year(thinking I didn't need it bc my retiring neuro didn't suspect me having seizures) but that's all the way in July.

These symptoms aren't going away with anything, I get overstimulated so easily now, which I originally attributed to my ADHD, and I can't multitask anymore because I constantly forget what I'm doing or was doing. I noticed the past few months I've gotten overstimulated much easier out of seemingly nowhere, even by things that don't bother me. Even talking is tiring for me now. I've been having to carefully choose what I do during the day because I get worn out and overwhelmed so quickly. I don't think it's my ADHD anymore. My Concerta hasn't improved anything in 4 months I've been taking it.

My head feels like there's pressure and like it's fuzzy, I can hardly move around standing up because I get dizzy.

A few days ago, I had vitamins in my hand that I grabbed 10 seconds ago, looked in the fridge for food, saw none that I wanted, the reached back over to grab the vitamins, only to realize they were already in my hand. When I took a shower the day before, I had done my usual routine of getting a towel for a shower out of the closet, I reached in, got a washcloth, then a few moments later I reached for a washcloth again and picked one up, then realized I had the other one in my other hand. I also keep forgetting about getting food out because I'll grab a bunch of stuff and bring it to my room, then forget to eat or drink some of it.

I'm struggling to recall anything from more than two days ago, even trying to remember things from a few hours ago is hard. This seems to have gotten worse within the past week, which scares me. I keep feeling the urge to restart my sentences if I don't finish them right away. My friend told me me and them have been repeating something silly as a joke the past few days but I didn't remember it at all.

I'll copy paste what I put in my previous post, just to sum up what I've been experiencing and so I can refer back to it.

• Since 2021, I've had occasional 'episodes' where I felt spells of disorientation or brain fog that never really fully went away. I went to the ER to get a CT scan soon after that started, and it was clear. I got an MRI a month later and it was also clear. Both hadn't had any changes to my previous scans. Now, I'm suspecting it was just cognitive decline and I passed it off as ADHD and mental health worsening, so I ignored it.
• Deja vu a few times a week to a few times a day for the past two years.
• Faces, pets, and places look and feel unfamiliar but I know the names associated with them.
• Constantly forgetting where I put something like, 10 seconds ago.
• Forgetting to go to bathroom.
• Not wanting to shower or get up and do anything.
• Forgetting to eat or finish food right in front of me, struggling to eat in general.
• Forgetting conversations or just barely remembering them, or it all feels mushed together.
• Constantly tossing and turning in my sleep.
• Confusing dreams with reality + nightmares.
• Repeating the word "like" much more than usual, feeling the need to repeat something I'm explaining because I feel like I'll lose it. I can remember well enough that I said it already, though.
• Blanking out constantly.
• Hardly able to understand jokes.
• Repetitive movements, such as tugging blankets, biting nails, chewing lip, moving legs.
• Hardly able to care for myself.
• Unable to enjoy movies, tv shows, videos, books, etc, bc I feel like I just forget most of what I've just read or watched or that it just feels 'new.'
• Not remembering posting something or vaguely remembering.
• Unable to clearly recall memories from pictures I've taken and videos.
• Unable to tell what time of day it is half the time and/or concept or judgement of time is shot.
• Suddenly apathetic, anxious, and depressed due to my symptoms.
• I can recall things that happened a few hours ago, but it's extremely hard or foggy. A few days ago? Almost impossible. Or I can remember vague tidbits.
• I was talking about my friend's height, and without realizing it, I was saying 5'1" or 5'2" like twice, when I meant to say 6'1" or 6'2". I didn't realize until my friend pointed it out. I also have been suddenly having trouble with words, such as nearly saying audio-matically instead of automatically.
• Last night, my left ear just, lost some of it's hearing. The ringing has become louder. I've been having thrumming tinnitus in it for the past few weeks.

But yeah. I'm so tired. I want to feel normal again. I'm struggling to do any of the things that comfort me now, like drawing, watching shows, playing games, working on 3d models, etc. I can still technically do them, but it's very straining. Drawing and watching youtube is the easiest for me to do.

I'm so scared of it being dementia. I was already worried about it later on in life because of my great grandmother, grandmother, and recently uncle getting it, but at 26? Heck, if I've had cognitive decline from it for the past three years, I would of technically begun to develop it at 23. I don't know what to do. I'm terrified.

 

[Kevinl]

Get yourself checked out, please, my life went to hell in a handcart and I post on here as a carer because I caught a viral infection of the brain, viral encephalitis, all better now and sitting at home posting on here.
It literally took a car crash to get me diagnosed several years of my life I'll never get back, I had symptoms but as a carer I always put myself second, car crash changed all that .
It could be something curable, like I say sitting at home in the kitchen all better now I hope.
During the time I was ill my wife passed away, daughter got married, no memory of any of it.
Get checked, please do it, easy for me to say but not facing a taxi bill like yours but please d it and tell us what happened next. K

 

[CAL Y]

Hello @~Raine .
Obviously, I’m not a doctor but I couldn’t just read your post and move on.
Firstly I have to say that at your age it is very unlikely that you have developed dementia.
What I will say is that as a woman of 73 yrs of age I do recognise many symptoms of depression, some of which can cause a lot of physical symptoms similar to which you speak of.
I have experienced this kind of thing in my lifetime in times of stress and now realise that I wasn’t “dying “ .
I would kindly suggest that maybe you look towards treatment from someone who doesn’t specialise in treating just physical symptoms.
I hope that doesn’t sound rude to you, it wasn’t meant to, I just know what it feels like to think that you have illnesses when what is really happening is the normal everyday stresses of life.
I wish you well and hope that you get through this.
💕💕

 

[CAL Y]

Hello @~Raine .
Obviously, I’m not a doctor but I couldn’t just read your post and move on.
Firstly I have to say that at your age it is very unlikely that you have developed dementia.
What I will say is that as a woman of 73 yrs of age I do recognise many symptoms of depression, some of which can cause a lot of physical symptoms similar to which you speak of.
I have experienced this kind of thing in my lifetime in times of stress and now realise that I wasn’t “dying “ .
I would kindly suggest that maybe you look towards treatment from someone who doesn’t specialise in treating just physical symptoms.
I hope that doesn’t sound rude to you, it wasn’t meant to, I just know what it feels like to think that you have illnesses when what is really happening is the normal everyday stresses of life.
I wish you well and hope that you get through this.
💕💕

@~Raine. I have just re read your post which has reminded me even more of the depression I experienced in younger life which happened out of the blue. I certainly identify with the feeling of pressure and fuzziness in the head, loss of concentration and not wanting to get out of bed in the morning.
Best wishes to you. C.xx

 

[~Raine]

Get yourself checked out, please, my life went to hell in a handcart and I post on here as a carer because I caught a viral infection of the brain, viral encephalitis, all better now and sitting at home posting on here.
It literally took a car crash to get me diagnosed several years of my life I'll never get back, I had symptoms but as a carer I always put myself second, car crash changed all that .
It could be something curable, like I say sitting at home in the kitchen all better now I hope.
During the time I was ill my wife passed away, daughter got married, no memory of any of it.
Get checked, please do it, easy for me to say but not facing a taxi bill like yours but please d it and tell us what happened next. K

Honestly I'm gonna try to go back to the ER (they wrote me off as a migraine around the beginning of the month) to try and get a CT of my head and bloodwork done.
I read up on encephalitis and alot of that sounds close to my symptoms as well, plus it's all come on so fast within the timespan of 3 weeks, I'm hoping it wouldn't be dementia progressing that quickly. Since I posted yesterday I'm also having sudden onset of dizziness and more head pressure/tingling on one side of my head. I'll definitely get myself checked out and hope it's something fixable. I'll post an update for sure, thank you ^^

 

[~Raine]

@~Raine. I have just re read your post which has reminded me even more of the depression I experienced in younger life which happened out of the blue. I certainly identify with the feeling of pressure and fuzziness in the head, loss of concentration and not wanting to get out of bed in the morning.
Best wishes to you. C.xx

Thank you for your kindness. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. ^^ You don't sound rude at all, don't worry! I'm currently trying to find myself a psychiatrist as well to help out with my mental health issues, so hopefully soon I can get the right medications. I'm hoping for some improvement soon, fingers crossed!