at a crossroads

[totallyconfused]

My sister and I have been full time carers for our mother for a long time.This year was a real struggle. My sister doesnt want to do it anymore-too tired, cant see our mother like this anymore, worried about her own health.

Im 100% supportive of her decision. My mother changed alot this year.

But what do I do know-hire full time help, specialised care at home, move to a facility. Im tired, the nights are hard. Home help 45 mins a day but they cant give seizure meds so thats a worry. The meds might stop the seizure quickly-last time she hurt both ankles and writs and needed xrays-very hard getting her xrays as you can imagine.

Its a sad time as we have been through so much together and never got any acknowledgement or help from siblings-just contstant attacks from people.We got through it and sometimes I cant believe we have got this far.

My mother has dnr in place, had seizures, multiple infections, speech is quite poor and i losing weight.It really was a **** year.

 

[maryjoan]

If your sister has found caring for Mum so draining and hard going that she cannot do it any more - I respectfully suggest that you might not be that far behind her.

Are Social Services involved?
Do you have LPA?

You need to do something whilst you still have your own health to deal with things for your Mum. I don't know how the finances stand, but I would suggest booking Mum into a Care Home for a few weeks, while you gather the strength and energy to start to put things into perspective and into place for Mum's future care.

For your own sake, don't for one minute think that you can do what it has been taking two of you to do in the past.