Are Erratic behaviours characteristic of dementia

[Evie5831]

Morning All,
Through a series of " unfortunate circumstances" ( read local hospital screwups) my dad does not have an actual dementia diagnosis but lives in a care home for people with dementia as he now needs 24/7 care.
He exhibits many symptoms of various types of dementia but nothing that would give me, as a layperson, a clue as to which type. I know types of dementia are just labels and don't matter in the scene of supporting him but I am desperate to understand his more obscure traits as sometimes I doubt the level of his dementia, does that make me a terrible person, I fear it does!
He has a total toilet obsession now but seems to have control of his bladder and bowel when he chooses but uses a lack of control as a means to get what he wants, an example of which is his latest overnight stay in hospital. He wanted to use the toilet but cannot walk unaided. The A and E staff were not willing to take him to the toilet so gave him a bottle which he refused to use saying that he would just "go where he lay" which he proceeded to do throughout the night!
Does this type of apparently manipulative behaviour fit with the pattern of dementia in anyone else's experience, he has no utis's or other infections to cause a reduction in cognition

 

[jaymor]

Erratic behaviour can certainly be part of dementia, all types of dementia. The example you give though appears to be what you say, attention seeking. A do as I say or else scenario.

 

[Evie5831]

Erratic behaviour can certainly be part of dementia, all types of dementia. The example you give though appears to be what you say, attention seeking. A do as I say or else scenario.

Thank you for responding, it's been a steep learning curve and continues to get steeper

 

[Pear trees]

People with dementia often get more self centred and self absorbed, and will cause a scene to get the attention they think they are not getting.
My mum once threw all of her shopping out of the trolley and screamed that no one cared, she was being left to starve, all because the shop had run out of her favourite cakes!

 

[cragmaid]

My Mum was manipulative long before she developed Dementia....Sadly, for a long time post diagnosis, she remained manipulative.

I would ask again for Dad to be assessed again by a Memory Clinic.

 

[Beate]

To be honest, if I was laid up in hospital and staff refused to take me to the loo just providing me with a bottle instead, I would do the same. It's appalling, undignified behaviour by professionals and should not be allowed. And then they wonder why patients come out of hospital incontinent!

 

[Evie5831]

To be honest, if I was laid up in hospital and staff refused to take me to the loo just providing me with a bottle instead, I would do the same. It's appalling, undignified behaviour by professionals and should not be allowed. And then they wonder why patients come out of hospital incontinent!

My local hospital puts dignity very low on their list of priorities, even the paramedics comment about their behaviour at times saying they would prefer to take patients to the next nearest hospital.
I interrupted a nurse last night looking at photos on her phone when I asked for support in changing Dads bedding and it still took an additional 20 minutes for her to come!
I can't complain too much though due to fear of repercussions on my dad if they admit him. I
He can't properly tell me if he is treated badly

 

[Evie5831]

My Mum was manipulative long before she developed Dementia....Sadly, for a long time post diagnosis, she remained manipulative.

I would ask again for Dad to be assessed again by a Memory Clinic.

I have asked for a memory clinic referral so hopefully that will happen soon. Thank you

 

[Evie5831]

People with dementia often get more self centred and self absorbed, and will cause a scene to get the attention they think they are not getting.
My mum once threw all of her shopping out of the trolley and screamed that no one cared, she was being left to starve, all because the shop had run out of her favourite cakes!

OMG, that have must have been so horrible for you both. I am still learning what triggers my dad but the result is always the same, temporary continence issues

 

[MollyD]

Going to the loo is a basic need. Your dad may have, probably did, experience/d the carers' refusal to bring him as a humiliation or violation. It was, however good the reason.

Sometimes (not always) difficult behaviour in mum is her taking a stance. A bid for independence albeit somewhat distorted.

She takes stances that appear (are) manipulative and controlling. And while it drives me nuts, I imagine it's partially because the once independent woman she was feels manipulated and controlled by me and carers. Frankly, because of the dance this awful disease creates/demands from her relationships, there is some truth in that too.

God only knows what I'd be like in her shoes. Mum was the most stoical, restrained and reserved person in the whole of her health. I'm way more contrary in mine than she ever was.