Anyone experienced this - my mum

[saffy910]

Hi everyone!
I am looking for some information in relation to my mum.

Mum is 82 and has numerous health problems including advanced macular degeneration.
She has recently started to say that a strange man is in her house and doing everything my dad does for her(he is her main carer). This stranger also knows everything about their lives and routines. Whilst this stranger is present my dad disappears. This stranger doesn’t look like my dad however. He is smaller, has a different voice, a different fave etc. Mum’s eyesight is very poor and it has been suggested that she is suffering from Charles Bonnet Syndrome. However it would be unusual to have auditory and physical hallucinations that last for hours on end. The other thought is Capgras syndrome however the person she sees is different and not identical to my dad.
I am struggling to convey problem to her doctor as they don’t seem to want to look beyond Charles Bonnet Syndrome. Mum is becoming increasingly hostile towards the stranger, who is in fact my dad who has been replaced. I am concerned she is in the early stages of dementia.
Does anyone recognises these symptoms?
Thanks

 

[nitram]

Does anyone recognises these symptoms?

Yes.
If it doesn't upset her does it matter?

 

[saffy910]

It upsets her terribly. She thinks my dad has disappeared and doesn’t know when he will return. She told me she cries in private and is worried that this man looks after her personal care etc. she hates that he knows all about her and wants him out of her house!

 

[nitram]

It upsets her terribly. She thinks my dad has disappeared and doesn’t know when he will return. She told me she cries in private and is worried that this man looks after her personal care etc. she hates that he knows all about her and wants him out of her house!

I am struggling to convey problem to her doctor as they don’t seem to want to look beyond Charles Bonnet Syndrome.

Whatever the syndrome, if it is upsetting her the doctor should make attempts to lessen the effects.
Does the doctor know how much it worries her?

 

[canary]

Not recognising people around them, especially a spouse, is a very common symptom of dementia. Quite often this is because during these epesodes they have "time shifted" and think they are back decades earlier than it really is. Your mum may think that your dad looks different because she has "time shifted" back to a stage when they were first married and she is looking for the young man she first married. As we age, we get shorter, stand differently, our voice and face changes. If, during this episodes, she is looking for a young man, then the older man in front of her will seem like a stranger.

 

[windyhill]

Hi everyone!
I am looking for some information in relation to my mum.

Mum is 82 and has numerous health problems including advanced macular degeneration.
She has recently started to say that a strange man is in her house and doing everything my dad does for her(he is her main carer). This stranger also knows everything about their lives and routines. Whilst this stranger is present my dad disappears. This stranger doesn’t look like my dad however. He is smaller, has a different voice, a different fave etc. Mum’s eyesight is very poor and it has been suggested that she is suffering from Charles Bonnet Syndrome. However it would be unusual to have auditory and physical hallucinations that last for hours on end. The other thought is Capgras syndrome however the person she sees is different and not identical to my dad.
I am struggling to convey problem to her doctor as they don’t seem to want to look beyond Charles Bonnet Syndrome. Mum is becoming increasingly hostile towards the stranger, who is in fact my dad who has been replaced. I am concerned she is in the early stages of dementia.
Does anyone recognises these symptoms?
Thanks

 

[windyhill]

My wife has dementia and has exhibited Capgras syndrome symptoms for the last year. In this, she frequently sees me as a relative and her husband (me) being absent through work or something else. It happens most often late in the afternoon when she starts sundowning. It happens particularly if she is taken out of her normal surroundings or routine. It is extremely uncomfortable for me. After some time she will come into a room I am in and recognise me as her husband again. She also hallucinates that there are many other people (mainly children) living in the house. Our children left long ago and only occasionally visit us so it can't be anything to do with that.
If we have a serious argument, she will come to me later and say that that terrible relative was giving her a hard time and she is glad that I (her husband) is back with her again.
My experience with GPs is that they do not seem to be very confident in dealing with mental health patients and would rather pass the problem on to someone else. That is my experience not a general statement of fact.
I will be writing a longer thread shortly which features my wife's Capgras behavior.

 

[saffy910]

My wife has dementia and has exhibited Capgras syndrome symptoms for the last year. In this, she frequently sees me as a relative and her husband (me) being absent through work or something else. It happens most often late in the afternoon when she starts sundowning. It happens particularly if she is taken out of her normal surroundings or routine. It is extremely uncomfortable for me. After some time she will come into a room I am in and recognise me as her husband again. She also hallucinates that there are many other people (mainly children) living in the house. Our children left long ago and only occasionally visit us so it can't be anything to do with that.
If we have a serious argument, she will come to me later and say that that terrible relative was giving her a hard time and she is glad that I (her husband) is back with her again.
My experience with GPs is that they do not seem to be very confident in dealing with mental health patients and would rather pass the problem on to someone else. That is my experience not a general statement of fact.
I will be writing a longer thread shortly which features my wife's Capgras behavior.

This is very similar to my mum. She can see my dad as a complete stranger. However he can leave the room and return as my dad again.

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @saffy910 and @windyhill and welcome to Dementia Support Forum. This is a great community of people who have experience of many aspects of dementia. It is place to ask questions, join conversations, find solace in sharing with others who truly understand, and to let off steam. I don't have much personal experience of what you have described but am sure that you will benefit from the help you find here.

 

[saffy910]

Hi @saffy910 and @windyhill and welcome to Dementia Support Forum. This is a great community of people who have experience of many aspects of dementia. It is place to ask questions, join conversations, find solace in sharing with others who truly understand, and to let off steam. I don't have much personal experience of what you have described but am sure that you will benefit from the help you find here.

Thank you m. I have so little knowledge and experience