Anybody know where you can buy patience ??

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Stresshead, Nov 7, 2015.

  1. Stresshead

    Stresshead Registered User

    Sep 13, 2014
    I'm having one of those days where my patience is wearing thin so I've escaped to another room for 15 mins to come on TP and breathe !!

    Do any of you feel like every day is groundhog day or am I just being mean ?? I've had another messy clean up operation this morning, made worse by the fact that dad decided to put both hands into rather messy pull up pants and then proceed to smear it all over the bed and his stomach. Of course trying to reason with him and explain to him to stop doing it is met by confusion and a reply of 'what's wrong? I don't know how it got there. I'm just cleaning myself'.

    Then he sulked as I tried to clean him and when he sulks he has this habit of smacking his lips. Oh my God this morning the lip smacking felt like Chinese water torture !!!

    I finally got him clean, washed, put cream all over his dry skin, sorted out his very dry cracked feet, removed the remaining messy stuff from underneath his finger nails and gave him a mini manicure. Sat him up on the side of the bed, handed him his toothbrush to clean his teeth, turned around to pick up the bowl of water and dad had flopped backwards onto the bed dropping the tooth brush and toothpaste all over his clean clothes!!

    I then try to put his cardigan on where he puts one arm in but refused to put the other in so now he is sporting some sort of cardigan/cape in the style of Batman !!

    As I stand him up to take him to the front room he announces that he badly needs to go to the toilet even though he has spent 15 mins on the commode but to no avail. So back to the commode, trying too pull his trousers down whilst he is trying to pull them back up exclaiming loudly 'stop doing that, stop pulling my trousers down' and can't understand that this is necessary as you can't go to the toilet with them pulled up. This is then followed by more lip smacking and once seated starts asking why he is sat on the toilet. When I explain that he said he needed to go he was completely confused, sat there for another 5 mins did nothing so I got him up again and took him into the living room.

    I finally got him into the living room where I spent 20 mins (like I do every day) trying to encourage him to eat some breakfast and drink his tea. His poor brain is so confused that he struggles to understand most things you say to him so everything has to be repeated over and over again.

    So I'm wondering if any of you lovely people out there know where I can buy a sack load of patience as I've checked on Amazon and they seem to be clean out of it.

    Thank you for letting me get that off my chest and in the absence of patience it may just have to be a brandy.........joke !! xx
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    Oh Stresshead - lot and lots and LOTS of sympathy.
    As for the patience
    maybe Robin will be along soon in the Batmobile and a little something specially made up for you by Alfred the butler.
  3. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    When Amazon get some more in stock, please let me know. (before they sell out again!)

  4. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    I usually find mine at the bottom of a whisky bottle, not joking!!!!!!!
  5. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    Oh stresshead wish I knew where you could buy patience my love I had times like that where you just want to scream with utter frustration wish I could give you advice but sending you a big hug instead (((((hug))))) xxx
  6. Pear trees

    Pear trees Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    If you could buy patience I'd get it on BOGOF offer and send both to you. I can only suggest another room, another gin, or another chocolate bar (my pickmeup) and then count to ten!
    Hope this makes you smile for a while.
  7. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    I know what you mean I was up a midmight ,I heard MIl go to bathroom so I went to check she was ok and found her incontinence pants wet and covered in poo on the window sill and her getting back in bed so got her out cleaned her up and back to bed , went to bath her this morning I could still smell poo. O MG she had used my work towels as a toilet paper and covered it In Poo so that had to go in bin. she said it was nit her I said well as only me and her here it had got to be. I would love to scream AT HER why ? but I know its not her fault so I go down stairs and scream to my self. patience I am also running out of as you are . not sure how to help but I go down out thw way and have a scream or a rant on her to my daughter . do you have anyone you can talk to ?
  8. Stresshead

    Stresshead Registered User

    Sep 13, 2014
    I knew you'd understand !! Thank God for Talking Point !!

    God love him I know it's not his fault it's this awful disease. He's the sweetest, loveliest man and when I returned to the front room he greeted me with a smile which instantly melted my heart and made me feel like the daughter from hell for feeling so frustrated with him.

    That's another thing I hate about this disease is how it plays with your mind and your emotions. Making you feel extremely frustrated, then so incredibly saddened, angry and guilty all in one day.

    Do you know, I think I will have that brandy after all........ xx
  9. Stresshead

    Stresshead Registered User

    Sep 13, 2014
    Balloo we are only human at the end of the day and dealing with something that, if we're honest, we wouldn't chose to deal with. It's funny but when my dad has accidents he always says that it wasn't him as well and he doesn't know how it got there ?? It's obviously a dementia thing. I'm glad that you are able to talk to someone about it. With me it tends to be my poor old husband but if we don't get it off our chests then then I think we'd explode.

    I wish you strength xx
  10. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    All I can say is, if you ever find out where to buy sackfuls of patience, please tell me. I have days like the one you describe as I care for hubby (vascular dementia). I don't know about drink, but if you recommend the brandy I might just be tempted. In the meantime chocolate is my thing.
  11. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    North East England
    After all that, I don't think that brandy should be a joke. And I'm tee total! :D
  12. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    stoke on trent
    Oh stresshead poor you, your life sounds very similar to mine.. Sorry I don't know where you can buy patience from lol I get mine of an evening with a couple of glasses of wine xx
  13. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    Fife Scotland
    What 10 gins or 10 chocolate you have my sympathy and was going to say: Patience is a virtue, Virtue is a grace and Grace is a little girl who won't wash her face..........but is that being nasty.

    Huggs stresshead
  14. chrisdee

    chrisdee Registered User

    Nov 23, 2014
    To all you poo cleaners out there - you are all saints and stars. I was a coward and could never have done it. Nearly wine o'clock now if that helps!
  15. 1mindy

    1mindy Registered User

    Jul 21, 2015
    Brandy sounds good to me. I went at3.00 on Thursday to my neighbours I just needed some time to vent. Two Bailey's coffees later I was off home and ready to face it all again. Funny they gave me patience .
  16. Adcat

    Adcat Registered User

    Jun 15, 2014
    It's so good to know there are like minded people out there in similar situations. Keep posting xx

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  17. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    North Cornwall
    I was in the same situation too this morning! It's just amazing what you can get used to, although I had a blip when I gave up smoking and my sense of smell started improving........
  18. henfenywfach

    henfenywfach Registered User

    May 23, 2013

    You're absolutely right!
    We re only humans but live like robots!
    Time to breathe would be ideal.

    I'm on the search for some patience too!
    I'm hoping those in my family can give me some of theirs.
    They don't seem to have to call theirs into play!
    Best wishes!
  19. little shettie

    little shettie Registered User

    Nov 10, 2009
    Oh Stresshead, we all have days like that. My days like that are becoming more frequent!! I seem to have less patience of late and I admit to having a massive shouting match with my mum, who I must add gives as good as she gets! She can be very formidable when she gets going and we both rant and tell each other what we think of each other. Half an hour later its all forgotten as mum comes out of her bedroom and starts a conversation about the lovely rose bush in the garden or something as if we've never argued!! Lol! I guess that's one good thing about this illness!! I used to feel guilty but I no longer do. I have to release the steam valve otherwise I would crack up. You need to as well, steam away! :) xx
  20. silverlining18

    silverlining18 Registered User

    Dec 23, 2014
    Loving thoughts to you all.

    The patience of a saint would be taxed looking after a loved one with Alzheimer's/Dementia.
    We all deserve a cupboard full of medals. Do ANYTHING that makes you feel less stressed and down, (as long as it's within the law).
    My husband and I should buy shares in Famous Grouse!
    My sister listens to all my moans - it is really helpful to offload, talking about the daily frustrations to someone. Why is it that some relatives don't or won't give of themselves or their time to help?
    We have all had to learn how to cope, as this awful disease takes it's toll on our loved ones and ourselves. It is ever changing and all the stratergies we employ to deal with it are commendable.
    This helps me a lot - Try to slow down your body by sitting for a minute, eyes closed, mindfully relax your muscles, feel your body let go of all the tensions and cares, drop your shoulders, breath slowly and empty your mind of everything. Come back slowly thinking of something that pleases you.
    I apologise if this is rambling a bit - did not get to sleep until 5am. I have bi-polar disorder and have been well for years with medication - I do hope a bout of mania is not on the way.
    Look after yourself - you deserve a treat or two (or three/four etc.)

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