Anxiety

[Lorraine D]

Morning all you lovely people, Ive not been on here for a while . My mum diagnosed with Alzheimers a good few years ago. We have sundowning , but now it seems to happen most of the day. She is getting up in the night wanting to know where everyone is ( Its only me and her). I work full time and have to leave her at home all day, and she worries about been at home all day on her own. she worries about everything, and she wants to go home ( she is at home) I know this is all expected , but is there anything that can be down for the anxiety. Its horrible to see her worrying. I always reassure her as best I can. X

 

[nae sporran]

That sounds pretty stressful for you and for your mum., @Lorraine D.
Can I ask a daft question. Is your mum totally on her own all day, or does she have anyone coming in for personal care or to make lunch. My partner goes through phases of missing her mum and the comfort of her childhood home, but so far we have not needed medication. When I am away for a couple of days twice a year she has extra calls for lunch and loves the company as she has built up a rapport with many of the care staff. I don't know if that would help your mum, just an idea.

 

[Lorraine D]

Thanks [U]nae sporran[/U], She is on her own, My Aunt (her sister ) will pop down once every couple of weeks. I usually make a sandwich for her lunch. She can still make herself a cup of coffee. Its just the anxiety I see in her. Its a terrible feeling, and I wish I could reassure her more.

 

[canary]

Having someone pop in while you are away isnt just about providing meals for her - this is the excuse. What it is really about is having someone in for company while you are away, because what your mum needs is another person to direct and reassure her. Many people with dementia develop a fear of being on their own. When their memory is almost gone they cannot remember where they are, or why they are there, how long they have been there, whether anyone is coming back, or whether they have been abandoned. All they know is that they are alone and are afraid. Leaving notes doesnt work when they dont remember that they exist and often they no longer know how to tell the time.

Have you tried day care? I know that everything is shut at the moment, but you could ask for a needs assessment to get the ball rolling.

 

[lemonbalm]

Hi @Lorraine D . Is your mum on any medication? Something like a low dose Mirtazapine can help with anxiety and can also aid sleep, so it's worth consulting your mum's doctor about that.

It does sound as though your mum really does need some company during the day though and it would be some relief for you to know that someone was calling in on her to check she's ok through the day. Have you tried having care visits or perhaps a meal delivery service?

 

[Lorraine D]

Thanks All, I will ask about day care and the medication for anxiety

 

[Lorraine D]

Hi All, Not been here for a while. Update on my mum. She went out on her own and went missing. The police were called, everyone looking for her. She walked into a cafe and they called an ambulance. so she was fine in the end thank goodness. That was in January. she now has full time care while I am at work. But still phone me constantly and is so anxious all the time, asking for my dad (died 15 years ago) and her mum. and alot of people from her childhood who I dont know. Doctor wont give her anything. Any suggestions?

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

It may sound flippant, but why not break her phone? If she has full time care while you are at work, she really doesn't need to phone you. Either have a word with her carer about distracting her when she tries to phone you or disappear/break the phone. Tell your mum you've taken it to the phone repair shop and she'll have it back soon. Then the shop can't get the right part, then some other part needs fixing, etc etc. You get the idea