Another vulnerable adult

Discussion in 'Legal and financial issues' started by LesleyC, Sep 27, 2015.

  1. LesleyC

    LesleyC Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    12
    We four siblings have Joint enduring PoA for our mother who is in late stage dementia and is currently in hospital with pneumonia. We have massive problems with our sister who is one of the attorneys and we have been under investigation from the OPG twice because of her unfounded and untrue complaints about us. We truly believe that she has some kind of mental disorder.

    The thing that worries the three of us right now is that our sister is arguing with advice given by the hospital. The first thing is the DNR, which is in place but she won't agree to. We can understand that this is an upsetting document and our thoughts on this is that the medical teams will do what they think is right anyway, so that argument didn't bother us too much. The second issue, however is bothering us - our mother has pneumonia and poor swallow. The hospital told us that when they gave our sister advice on suitable food and drink for our mother she has argued with them, stating that there is nothing wrong with our mother. Our mother is usually in a nursing home, but often won't eat for carer's, so we all take turns in giving her her meals. Sadly I think it is because she trusts us. Our sister is wrong and needs to respect the advice given by the medical staff. What can we do to make sure the stubbornness of our sister is not allowed to impact on our mother's health?
     
  2. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,482
    Radcliffe on Trent
    If your mum is usually in a nursing home, presumably the staff decide what she she eats and drink based on the medical advice. They could surely tell your sister that if she is not happy with what mum is offered she must speak to the GP/dietician as the home staff can't change the regime without medical authorisation.

    Blaming the professionals sometimes helps....
     
  3. LesleyC

    LesleyC Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    12
    Thanks for this. We will have to make sure whatever the hospital advises is enforced at the nursing home. Mam has previously been in hospital for the same problem and came out with instructions on what her care should be but the staff at the home told us that they had queried it with mam's GP and they didn't think it was necessary to follow the hospital instructions. More recently the home told us that they had involved SALT but I couldn't get any firm information from them about the outcome apart from her needing thickener in mams drinks. This is sometimes put in and sometimes not. We raised this with the home manager and he put a reminder sign on the wall, but after this discussion at the hospital I think the carer's are taking direction from our sister. She stopped mam having bed rest for her pressure sore, telling the manager that I had asked for bed rest for her and it wasn't necessary. When the manager told me this I explained that I had discussed this with the nurse and we both agreed that mam would benefit from not sitting all day on a sore bottom. I told him that don't insist on anything for our mother, as they are the professionals, however I pointed out to him that the agreed bed rest had not taken place and now mam had another pressure sore. The hardest part about this is that everyone thinks it is a family argument and don't want to get involved, but that's not the case. We take every step possible to avoid arguments, but it's an impossible situation when she seems to manage to get everyone to listen to her opinions. She is a very forceful person.
     
  4. joggyb

    joggyb Registered User

    Dec 1, 2014
    119
    You could report your concerns about your sister to the Office of the Public Guardian and/or to Social Services: https://www.gov.uk/report-concern-about-attorney-deputy
     
  5. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Lesley; my husband had a full blown stroke last December. Since then, he started having swallowing troubles himself. This year, when he went into hospital after breaking his hip, and subsequently, going into care, he was put on a soft food diet. He now eats heartily and no longer has difficulty swallowing.

    Your Mum should stay on her advised diet, whatever it is.
     
  6. LesleyC

    LesleyC Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    12
    Thanks for your comments. Our mother came out of hospital today and is back in her nursing home. We had been told that she would be transferred from the new emergency hospital and they were only waiting for a bed to,the local hospital, but anyway she is back, but not sure if she should be health wise.Our sister has left a Bounty Bar and packet of Cheesy Wotsits, which she would have probably tried to give our mother in the morning. We removed these after querying their suitability with the nurse on duty and have asked for a meeting with the nurse who deputises for the care home manager. There have been some developments (regarding our sisters behaviour) that the nurse is concerned about and from what has been said, our sister seems to be force feeding our mother. We are currently in contact with the OPG because our sister has raised several concerns about us with them and we are having to defend ourselves to them, but at least this has given us the route in to raise issues as they happen. We are thinking that the best course of action at the minute is to see what information comes back from the hospital regarding our mother's nutrition/care plan and see what happens when we meet with the deputy manager. If we can get a decent care plan in place and make sure everyone sticks to it, this should help. If anyone has any further advice it would be appreciated. We have not yet involved Social Services.
     
  7. Pickles53

    Pickles53 Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    2,482
    Radcliffe on Trent
    #7 Pickles53, Sep 28, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2015
    Glad your mum is out of hospital and as you say this is the crucial point. The care home staff would be negligent if they failed to follow the care plan and personally I think that it was very poor practice that they did not follow the correct regime in relation to the pressure sores and did not put thickener in mum's drinks ALWAYS if this was recommended by SALT.

    Their job is to explain to your sister why it is not in your mum's best interests to do what sister wants, if that is contrary to the care plan, not to abandon correct procedures (perhaps trying to avoid an argument). I would be going down the formal complaint route if the staff do not follow the care plan and I would notify both SS and CQC if you get to that stage.
     
  8. LesleyC

    LesleyC Registered User

    Jun 24, 2013
    12
    Thank you for your advice, which is just what we need. We may have had a bit of a breakthrough today, as our sister went in to give our mother her breakfast and was told that family were no longer allowed to give mam her meals (this is a shame for us, because the Community Psychiatric Nurse recently watched me give our mother her dinner and said it was exactly how it should be done). We are happy that they are dealing with the situation, even if it does mean that we have to take a step back too. Apparently she went to see the manager of the home and he was shocked by her behaviour towards him - he wasn't around for us to speak to him but I'll probably see him tomorrow and will keep you posted.
     

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