Another lost spring … and summer too

[TheCoachman]

Today feeling sad - knowing that i am loosing another spring. When I look back I can remember ‘the call’ to take on caring for my mum (dementia and denial) - and my fear, my fighting with myself, the anxiety, the dread ….and somehow I got over that ..got used to the ’crisis’ call outs, the gradual taking over things like medication, shopping, bills paying, continual fixing and sorting out, the little deceptions to get here to accept supports ….now there is a deep weary acceptance of helping my mum through dementia .. on her way home (at 93 she “don’t want to be here”).

people say “give yourself a break - look after yourself” … but they just don’t know … that when you get to the acceptance place of being a carer ..your own life is subsumed by that of another.. if I am not with my mother I am sorting something for her … I carry her with me in my head ALWAYS …trying to plan where I can while dreading the next ‘issue’ or ‘crisis’ ..like so many I keep my mobile on but dread that it will be a call from her.

There is no spring for me , or summer they are hers …..part of my stolen / lost years … the life we as carers give up when we accept the role !

wishing you all some joy, some quiet and peaceful moments in your caring
pete

 

[Collywobbles]

Oh Pete I’m so sorry. I dread that call myself. It will come one day.

I hope that you will have future springs and summers.

 

[Kevinl]

Just is what it is Pete, and what goes around comes around.
You'll miss it when it's gone, trust me caring is hard but when mother nature takes them and makes you redundant it's hard too. K

 

[Wildwoodflower]

Hi Pete, I do understand and empathise. It is brutally hard seeing your own years slip by knowing that you won't get the time back, won't ever be compensated and will face a harder old age yourself as a consequence.
The experience has made me determined not to place a similar burden on my own children if at all avoidable and to be far more active politically in demanding that those who want to govern us must put social welfare at the heart of everything.

 

[Anthoula]

Hi Pete, I do understand and empathise. It is brutally hard seeing your own years slip by knowing that you won't get the time back, won't ever be compensated and will face a harder old age yourself as a consequence.
The experience has made me determined not to place a similar burden on my own children if at all avoidable and to be far more active politically in demanding that those who want to govern us must put social welfare at the heart of everything.

Yes, yes, yes. It is carers who should shout from the roof tops, and through the letter box of no.10 to call for social welfare to be brought to the forefront of everyone`s thinking and actions.