I think it is a matter of survival, our survival of being able to continue to care. I suppose too, it depends on our personality whether we are quick or slow to react. How tired we are, whether we still expect certain things or realise the past is the past. Sometimes we can think we have a handle on a situation but fall apart when some small thing catches us out. As always it is the small things that trips us. It is not easy whatever the scenario.
I went to the hospital for what I thought was biopsies and a check. I was wrong the consultant decided on a treatment, this meant I was ill and he anxious, I had to dig deep. I was not as patient, I felt woozy and tired.
We do have to plan when we can and be kind to ourselves when we have too.
On a better day, I do try to soften instructions the royal 'we' comes in handy! I ask if he will do something for me, he can still make coffee and tea even though remembering to drink is another issue. The host comes into play.
I put ideas in his head such as saying it said it will rain, I think I will put my red waterproof on, do you want your long or short? All this takes so much effort, fine when I go into a lower gear and feel well.
I fail when it slips my mind that one instruction or idea at a time. It is tough isn't it, but for me it would be tougher without him. This is what helps me cope.