And another thing.....

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Helly68, Dec 12, 2019.

  1. Helly68

    Helly68 Registered User

    Mar 12, 2018
    521
    Apologies initially as whiney.....life has just dealt me another "curve ball".

    As some of you may have read, my Mum is in a CH with late stage dementia. My Dad hasn't been diagnosed with anything but has memory issues and is starting to make some rather dodgy decisions despite insisting on complete independence. I can usually balance the demands of these situations with work, but then.....

    I work for the NHS. We are having a "consultation" at work - NHS shorthand for a cost cutting exercise with redundancies. Everything is very confused but I have basically been told that my role is "at risk" - i.e.potentially surplus to requirements. We have months of consultation to go yet so I don't know the final outcome.

    Every time something happens I think "this too will pass". Dealing with our useless council over care fees, battling with the DWP over PIP re-assessment but this latest thing is going to take some getting used to.

    In bizarre NHS fashion, staff affected by change are told before new structures are published. So I am in a daze, wondering about my future whilst my colleagues discuss the best mince pies.

    Not really expecting any advice, just needed to write this all down. Time to nail on a smile soon and head off to my Mum's CH christmas party.
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    70,166
    Kent
    This is how what we think of as trivia affects us when we have much bigger concerns @Helly68. I do hope you won`t lose your job and imagine having the threat hanging over your head is really upsetting.
     
  3. Helly68

    Helly68 Registered User

    Mar 12, 2018
    521
    Tha
     
  4. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    1,172
    Male
    North West
    I went through a similar thing when I worked in East London as the hospitals were about to merge, none of us knew what was going to happen. Tough times ahead, I hope it pans out and falls in your favour, I wish I could help
     
  5. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,275
    Nice timing!
    Honestly what is it with these people.
    They need to make a decision & act on it not wishy washy well it may or may not!

    honestly I call my OH Teflon Tim! He’s been through so many redundancies & cutbacks that we are now more blasé about redundancy especially as the mortgage has just finished. It’s horrid on top of everything else. I do understand that as last year just before Christmas we survived the last round of cutbacks

    so I hope some Teflon rubs off on you
    Xx
    Try not to fret too much lovely , & stuff the mince pies I’d go for the over 18 option !! xxx
     
  6. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,196
    Toronto, Canada
    It's easy to say, hard to do but try not to worry. You say it will be months till you hear the outcome and it may well be alright. Even if not, things do have a way of working out. I quit a stressful job, took 5 months off with no pay then got a job at 25% less than I had been making. it was the best decision of my working life. I've been here over 14 years now and have the best and most understanding of bosses.

    So try not to worry. Here's one of my favourite sayings "Worry is like a rocking chair. it's gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere."
     
  7. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,275
    Nice! haven’t heard that one before!
     
  8. Helly68

    Helly68 Registered User

    Mar 12, 2018
    521
    Thank you Palerider - I am actually in East London but not a hospital....
     
  9. Helly68

    Helly68 Registered User

    Mar 12, 2018
    521
    T
    Thank you - I will have to Teflon myself....
     
  10. Helly68

    Helly68 Registered User

    Mar 12, 2018
    521
    Joanne - that is very true. I just wish I could go to bed until things do work out.....
     
  11. Helly68

    Helly68 Registered User

    Mar 12, 2018
    521
    Thanks everyone. Nailing on a smile today at work and then escaping to the CH for the xmas party. We are all in full reorganisation panic mode here at work - I think I will get more logic out of my Mum this afternoon....
     
  12. annielou

    annielou Registered User

    Sep 27, 2019
    402
    What rubbish news. Hope it works out and you keep your job.X
    My sister works in nhs, office role and has had a few of these restructures. Had to reapply for own job or new version of it a few times and sometimes nothing changed just had the worry.
    Each time everyone involved has lots of worry and stress for months. The nhs being a medical, supposedly caring profession, you'd think they would understand the effect of stress on people and maybe try and do these things in a better way where they don't leave people wondering or worrying for months at a time.
    Ironically one of the times sis was involved in a restructure and had to reapply for her job she had interview for it on same day as a managing stress in the workplace training session :rolleyes:
    Hope you get positive news soon x
     
  13. Lawson58

    Lawson58 Registered User

    I seem to be always telling members of family that worry is a wasted emotion as it achieves nothing.

    But it is a difficult time for you.

    Why is it that governments can always find limitless amounts of money to build new submarines, bigger and better weapons, maintain military bases in foreign places, fight wars in other lands for reasons I don't understand, but cannot find the funds for an adequate health service?

    I hope that everything stays good for you and that you can have a relaxing Christmas.
     
  14. Olliebeak

    Olliebeak Registered User

    Sep 13, 2014
    104
    Buckinghamshire
    I do feel for you. I worked in a small specialist NHS Trust -( now gobbled up by the larger one down the road.)They decided on an internal “restructuring” for no good reason other than the ego of the “HR and Organisational Development Director”. Long story short I was given early retirement and to be honest it was a relief to be out of it and to choose a new direction. What I didn’t know was my mother would die within months and I would have to be a carer for my father and that my husband would develop Alzheimer’s within a couple of years! We never know what cards fate is going to deal us but as my grandfather used to say - it will all come out in the wash or as you said even this will pass. I wish you luck and hope things turn out for the best for you.
     
  15. Feistywoman

    Feistywoman Registered User

    Aug 11, 2018
    108
    That’s a horrible situation for you to be in @Helly68 as if you don’t have enough going on.
    I’m also NHS so completely sympathise, the cogs of the ‘management’ process runs incredibly slowly whilst no doubt you will be left hanging. We’ve had a lab ‘review’ decision to be made on 6 December when they announced they had more to consider so it will be February (for that read July).
     
  16. Helly68

    Helly68 Registered User

    Mar 12, 2018
    521
    Thank you everyone for your replies. The process will be very slow but we have HR support sessions on Wednesday, so well see what that brings.
    I hope everyone here gets a measure of calm and rest over christmas as we all deal with whatever life throws at us.
    A work colleague said to me "how do you feel about this?" - meaning my job being at risk. I was tempted to say, well how to you think, or lie on the floor screaming but I think I managed a reply about "challenging times".
    Strength to everyone for another day....
     
  17. Avis

    Avis Registered User

    Nov 2, 2019
    98
    As if the home situation wasn't bad enough, the worry about a possible redundancy must be terrible for you. Ordinary things are worrisome enough, like whether OH has peed on the floor again, or whether he has out his clothes on the right way around etc. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Sending a hug or two ((((0))))
     
  18. Helly68

    Helly68 Registered User

    Mar 12, 2018
    521
    Thank you Avis. Differnent kinds of problems, each with their own issues. There is the possibility that redundancy might free me up to work part time and provide more support for my father, but I think I need to work (and I am aware not everyone has that choice) and my disability would make physical caring very challenging. I hope you and your OH have a good day,
     
  19. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,196
    Toronto, Canada
    @Helly68, next time someone asks you a question like that, reply honestly. That will keep them away.
     
  20. Helly68

    Helly68 Registered User

    Mar 12, 2018
    521
    I was very tempted. It's an open-plan office though, and I work with a bunch of lovely but very technical people, who tend to see the world rather differently than I do.
     

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