1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Szaitisja

    Szaitisja Registered User

    Jul 28, 2018
    130
    Female
    Hertfordshire
    Hi all. I need some advice and opinions please.
    I look after a friend who's got VD. She does get very tired and down in the evenings. She is used to going to bed around 10pm and doesn't like getting up before 9am and the later in the morning the better usually. She usually spends the last hour, hour and a half in the evening just dozing off in her chair where she sits all day, as her mobility is not good and she doesn't walk much. Mostly from one room to another in the morning and evening and toilet when needed. She is usually very drowsy and sometimes it's possible to convince her to go to bed a bit earlier so she can lie down comfortably and have some proper rest, but it only works if I manage to distract her from looking at the clock. If she catches a glimpse of it and sees it's not 10pm yet, no matter how tired she is she will refuse. One evening the visiting carer managed to get her to bed abut 8.30 pm (I don't know how) and she slept right through the night and the next day was in a much better mood and seemed to function very very well compared to an average day.
    An idea popped into my head that maybe altering the clocks she looks at by 1h could be the solution worth trying to see if it would work for a while at least and if getting a bit more sleep would benefit her and make her less anxious on everyday basis.
    It feels to me tho like i'm deceiving her and I am in 2 minds. Could that be perceived as abuse or neglect or something like that by the social services or care agency etc?
    What are your opinions please? I would really appreciate some advice...
     
  2. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,854
    Female
    Scotland
    At one stage my husband was obsessed by time and I deliberately grew a plant up
    The wall and over the clock so he couldn’t see it clearly. Do what you need to do in her best interest.
     
  3. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,035
    Yorkshire
    hi @Szaitisja
    sounds like the very opposite of abuse or neglect ... you are looking for ways to help your friend and have a very good reason for this small fudging of time ...so, I agree, do whatever is best to support your friend

    just thinking, though, that there are other clues to the time eg TV programmes, radio announcements, so take those into consideration too

    and have an apology and excuse ready for if she rumbles you and realises what the time really is
     
  4. northumbrian_k

    northumbrian_k Registered User

    Mar 2, 2017
    794
    Male
    Newcastle
    TV is not a problem - just say that you are watching on catch up
     
  5. Szaitisja

    Szaitisja Registered User

    Jul 28, 2018
    130
    Female
    Hertfordshire
    Thank you for your replies:)
    We don't really watch much tv anymore. I have to be careful to choose programmes without violence etc, as they can sometimes influence her hallucinations, so we mostly watch old comedies on youtube on our tv. 'I love Lucy' and such like. She struggles to follow new plots and gets very upset at the amount of bad language in modern programmes.
     

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