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all change

notsogooddtr

Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
1,104
0
Mum and Dad now in extra supported flat for 3 weeks.Up and down,Dad definitely worse as he can't really find his way round and he's not eating very well and has had a few tummy incidents.On plus side there are no stairs,carers are lovely and I feel they are safer if not necessarily happier.Carers get Dad to bed at about 9-9.30 so Mum has an hour on her own which she seems to appreciate.Care package will be reviewed after 6 weeks so hope to get place in on site day centre for him,not sure he will get any real benefit but Mum might.
Very bad situation re my sister who has secondery breast cancer,I feel that her partners treatment of her amounts to abuse,he tells her he wants her out of the house,seems to talk about her a lot to his family,not in a good way,they also discuss her in front of their 2 young children,he has hit her around the head with a tea towel and punched the wall behind her.Long story short,my husband and I went to the house after a weekend of text messages and phone calls from them both plus his mother,my husband warned him of consequences of his behaviour,he attacked husband,5 year old witnessed this.Sister now saying all OK just due to stress has been advised behaviour normal in circumstances tec,basically covering for him.Have told her she can come here with the kids but won't hear of it.
I'm now not allowed in their home,kids can only come here if I guarantee husband won't be here-upshot is I'm now on anti depressants and signed off work
Need to work out what I can/can't do and recognise the difference,have been guilty of thinking I'm responsible for fixing everything for everyone.Difficult habit to break.
After reading above you'll understand why I never offer any advice on here,certainly not qualified.
I do however read posts most days and take a lot of comfort from what others say,feel like a bit of a user though.
 

Mamsgirl

Registered User
Jun 2, 2013
635
0
Melbourne, Australia
Hi,
Sorry to hear things are so difficult for you.
Don't know your situation with your parents, but is this some sort of respite for you? If so, can you possibly use the time to rebuild your strength? It seems your sister is managing in the relationship for now, and I'm sure you know there's not much you can do to help until your sister decides she needs it. If she knows you're there in the wings to lend a shoulder and a hand for health or relationship issues, you're being as loving a sister as possible, so do reserve some of that caring attitude for your good self.
Best of luck,
Toni x