Agreed to see the doctor again.

[RM3]

thinking of you, hope you get some answers

Thank you @jennifer1967 - let’s hope 🙏🏻 x

 

[Violet Jane]

Wishing you strength at this difficult time.

 

[RM3]

Wishing you strength at this difficult time.

Thank you @Violet Jane ☺️ x

 

[Bevhar]

Aww Bev. I don’t know your daughters but I feel that I can almost guarantee, that they would not feel they were better off if you were not here.
One of the things I feel so sad about with my mum - is being robbed of caring for her and helping her as she got older and unable to do some things. Yes, I would probably have had times (maybe many), where I found that hard or inconvenient but I would never have swapped it. It feels like the natural path of life. Don’t underestimate the roles of the family unit and though your girls may struggle with some things, this is life and this is what families do for one another (if we are fortunate and I know this is not the case for everyone).
I hope that the memantime has a positive effect.
Sorry to hear about your fall. There may come a time, where you need to look at the options for your husband’s care, whilst you undergo any necessary healthcare for yourself. You have to look after yourself to first of all be as comfortable and pain free as you can be (that is a priority) and also to be able to care long term for your husband.
Sending love and hugs x

This has brought tears to my eyes I just feel a burden but I know they love us both so much I think the eldest is finding it hard as our youngest lives in Cardiff which is 2 hours away it’s terrible but I really felt like giving myself an overdose of insulin last night I know I wouldn’t But I just feel so down at the moment Thank you for caring I don’t know what I’d do without this forum Hope all goes well for you today Take care thanks again it means so much to have your advice love & hugs 🫂 x

 

[Violet Jane]

@Bevhar, please make an appointment to see your GP and tell him/her what you have told us. The falls are also concerning.

I think that you need more support at home. Alternatively, perhaps a spell in respite for your husband will give you a breathing space and time to heal.

 

[Bevhar]

@Bevhar, please make an appointment to see your GP and tell him/her what you have told us. The falls are also concerning.

I think that you need more support at home. Alternatively, perhaps a spell in respite for your husband will give you a breathing space and time to heal.

Thanks so much I’ve just made an appointment with my doctor This forum helps so much as everyone so kind x

 

[Alisongs]

🫂🤗🫂🤗🫂🤗🫂 🤗 🫂

 

[jennifer1967]

This has brought tears to my eyes I just feel a burden but I know they love us both so much I think the eldest is finding it hard as our youngest lives in Cardiff which is 2 hours away it’s terrible but I really felt like giving myself an overdose of insulin last night I know I wouldn’t But I just feel so down at the moment Thank you for caring I don’t know what I’d do without this forum Hope all goes well for you today Take care thanks again it means so much to have your advice love & hugs 🫂 x

ive just got to the stage of needing more help at home. ive contacted age uk for help at home[housework] and a gardener and have been given a list of them. also what to ask and check. my husband was so resolute we didnt need help but seeing me in pain, stress, tears, overwhelmed, and really so down that i seem to drag myself through the day sometimes, hes realised if he wants me to be his carer then he needs to let me have other help. we got there eventually, now just to tackle the list.

 

[maggie6445]

Accepting help is difficult if you've always been strong, independent and a private person .

I'm getting to the stage where I'm needing help too. Got a lovely handyman to do the garden a couple of hours a fortnight and he'll do odd jobs or decorating as well ,so I have him lined up for the winter. 🙂

Handyman's mum had dementia so he knows how hard it is for a carer. Charges a fair rate and works, not drinking coffee and disappearing. 🤣

 

[RM3]

This has brought tears to my eyes I just feel a burden but I know they love us both so much I think the eldest is finding it hard as our youngest lives in Cardiff which is 2 hours away it’s terrible but I really felt like giving myself an overdose of insulin last night I know I wouldn’t But I just feel so down at the moment Thank you for caring I don’t know what I’d do without this forum Hope all goes well for you today Take care thanks again it means so much to have your advice love & hugs 🫂 x

It sounds as though you’ve bottomed out Bev and it is sink or swim now. You definitely come across as a swimmer to me. What can you do for you! That’s the question for yourself Bev. This has to be factored in to the balance of what can you do for others.
It’s good that you are going to the doctors, sometimes it takes more than mindset to get back up doesn’t it.
Always here Bev, as are many others. Love and hugs, Rachel x

 

[RM3]

.

 

[Bevhar]

It sounds as though you’ve bottomed out Bev and it is sink or swim now. You definitely come across as a swimmer to me. What can you do for you! That’s the question for yourself Bev. This has to be factored in to the balance of what can you do for others.
It’s good that you are going to the doctors, sometimes it takes more than mindset to get back up doesn’t it.
Always here Bev, as are many others. Love and hugs, Rachel x

Thank you so much I’m seeing a friend tomorrow she rang me & I just broke down We have been there for each other for many years Im also

ive just got to the stage of needing more help at home. ive contacted age uk for help at home[housework] and a gardener and have been given a list of them. also what to ask and check. my husband was so resolute we didnt need help but seeing me in pain, stress, tears, overwhelmed, and really so down that i seem to drag myself through the day sometimes, hes realised if he wants me to be his carer then he needs to let me have other help. we got there eventually, now just to tackle the list.

I’m looking into getting a cleaner I used to be a cleaner & never thought I would need one but I’m worn out What you are saying completely relates to how I’m feeling I just feel who cares for the carer A couple where the wife has Alzheimers at a group we go to didn’t come & it was because the husband had passed away At times this journey is so lonely & I feel helpless

 

[RM3]

.

 

[jennifer1967]

Thank you so much I’m seeing a friend tomorrow she rang me & I just broke down We have been there for each other for many years Im also

I’m looking into getting a cleaner I used to be a cleaner & never thought I would need one but I’m worn out What you are saying completely relates to how I’m feeling I just feel who cares for the carer A couple where the wife has Alzheimers at a group we go to didn’t come & it was because the husband had passed away At times this journey is so lonely & I feel helpless

i think the carer needs to care for the carer. no-one is going to do it for you. only problem is that you need motivation and energy, things that are in short supply. my friends have disappeared.

 

[jennifer1967]

It is quite an unbalanced area in society, that the person with a condition (whatever it may be), receives care and appointments and monitoring etc (as they quite rightly should). Yet so little (or no) consideration seems to be given to the person who cares 24/7, 365 days a year. It is no wonder that unpaid carers suffer, both physically and mentally. If no one is going to put you or any of us first, then we must. We must always try to be aware of our limitations and when we are reaching them. It’s not just about longevity of life but quality of life.
Getting a cleaner, is a positive step and a recognition of your limitations. Good for you Bev ❤️ x

care and appts??

 

[RM3]

care and appts??

As in, people to look out for them and know when they need some care or medical appointments - as against the carer being overlooked (or even that they overlook their own needs) X

 

[jennifer1967]

As in, people to look out for them and know when they need some care or medical appointments - as against the carer being overlooked. X

my husband doesnt get appts or care for his dementia, not much for anything else. he has capacity so if he doesnt want, he doesnt have to have anything.

 

[RM3]

my husband doesnt get appts or care for his dementia, not much for anything else. he has capacity so if he doesnt want, he doesnt have to have anything.

That I suppose is a good thing. I think from the posts that I read, many carers (at home not professional), overlook or get overlooked for help and support. I think that as a country, more should be done to appreciate just how difficult it is for people to care for someone. X

 

[RM3]

my husband doesnt get appts or care for his dementia, not much for anything else. he has capacity so if he doesnt want, he doesnt have to have anything.

I have removed that post - I don’t think it came across how I intended it to and I don’t want to offend anyone x

 

[jennifer1967]

That I suppose is a good thing. I think from the posts that I read, many carers (at home not professional), overlook or get overlooked for help and support. I think that as a country, more should be done to appreciate just how difficult it is for people to care for someone. X

what i meant that even if the carer needs x,y,z, then if the cared for has capacity and refuses, there is nothing the carer can do.