Advice would be appreciated

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Cliff, Nov 4, 2007.

  1. Cliff

    Cliff Registered User

    Jun 29, 2007
    777
    North Wales
    #1 Cliff, Nov 4, 2007
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2007
    I have a crisis pending that is difficult to resolve.

    A relation who is ill has given me coded messages indicating that he is more ill than he says on the phone. Dee, who is very attached to this relative, has no idea there might be a serious problem.

    If the worst happens, I would need to travel South to deal with immediate problems presented:- possible identification, funeral arrangements, house clearance and sale.

    Have faced this situation twice already and know how to deal with it by remote control from North Wales after initiating action locally

    But this time I have to think about Dee. It would mean leaving her for about three/four days whilst I am away. There lies the problem. Have no idea how to even start this.
    • Have told the SW about the problem but she cannot help as we are self-funding but has given me lists of homes.
    • The RMN contact at the Memory Clinic cannot help as their bed facility is very limited.
    • My free time to visit EMI units is very limited because I can’t leave Dee.. Can’t take Dee with me on Home visits as it would be too upsetting for her and it may not happen in the immediate future anyway.

    I need advice please how to tackle the accommodation for Dee for a few days if and when it is needed.
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,550
    Kent
    Dear Cliff,

    I can understand this being a big worry for you. I have no answers as I would be in a similar position to you. I too have no established respite I can call on in an emergency. I would have to call on our son.

    Would it be possible to have someone stay with Dee? Could Social Services advise you on this?

    Do you have anyone who could do some preliminary inspection of homes for you, to make a short list?

    I`m sorry I can`t be more helpful. I sincerely hope someone else will have better ideas.

    Love xx
     
  3. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,439
    Cliff, the SW should also be able to give you a list of private agencies who could provide you with 24/7 cover in your own home. I realise that this is likely to be an expensive option, but considerably less disruptive for Dee. You're looking for domicilliary care agencies.
     
  4. towncrier

    towncrier Registered User

    Oct 14, 2007
    41
    Lancashire
    Advice?

    Cliff, I am absolutely appalled that you have a social worker aware of your problems and needs yet all you get from him/her is a list of homes because you are self-funding. That seems to me to be a totally irrelevant consideration, but it confirms my impression that social service assessments are more concerned with your finances than your needs.
    I cannot speak from experience of your particular problem but I would think a complaint to the head person in your social services department should be your first step; your local councillor and MP ought also to be made aware of this scandalous situation. Airing your complaint to your local newspaper, and perhaps to a national paper too, would probably get you some quick action, I think and hope. And how about a detailed letter to Ivan Lewis who has had good publicity for his (vague) commitment to reform of care services for older people? Keep copies of all correspondence on this matter so that it can keep the issue in the public domain. I do hope you will get the help you need.
     
  5. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Cliff

    What a difficult situation, and so worrying for you.

    First thought -- ask SW for the name of the agencies they use for home care. If they won't tell you, try local AS branch, or PRT branch. There must be agencies, though if they're all under contract to SS, they may not have time available. Crossroads may also be able to help.

    If you're stuck, bring Dee up to me!

    Love,
     
  6. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Have you a local Alzheimr's Branch near you ? Crossroad are brilliant with help.
    Wether you are self-funding or not should not make any difference to the help you desperately need. This is another avenue hightlighting the short falls of the appropriate help for us Carers' and our loved one.
    I wish you the very best.
    Christine.
     
  7. Cliff

    Cliff Registered User

    Jun 29, 2007
    777
    North Wales
    Thank you all for advice.

    The big problem is it may happen this week or not for some time.

    The clue you have given me, apart from jumping on SS, is Home Care. Hadn't thought of that and will contact AS and Crossroads and the agency who provide a lovely carer at the moment.

    Special thank you Hazel for offering a spare bed for Dee, we're a bit far apart but if all else fails..................

    Again, thank you and love to you all.
     
  8. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Hi Cliff:

    I could so easily be in the same situation as you - I have been trying to locate a PM giving me details of an 'at home' service, which someone once gave me. It must have been deleted and I am so sorry I cannot pass this info on to you.

    PLEASE if you are out there knowing which 'at home' care service this was - please let Cliff or I know about it.

    I have also experienced the self funding issue - it is so so hard to book anything in advance. In this area it has to be 'emergency' before any help is offered.

    I do hope you find a solution. Best wishes Jan
     
  9. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Hi, I am going to be of no use, but just to say it hadn't crossed my mind how carers cope with a temporary emergency. Hope you resolve something that is satisfactory.

    Love

    Margaret
     
  10. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Hello Cliff.
    Just remembered something about help in emergencies. The A.S. local Branch and Crossroads do help out in emergencies.
    Good luck. Christine
     
  11. Cliff

    Cliff Registered User

    Jun 29, 2007
    777
    North Wales
    Just to say thank you again to everyone replying. Will follow this up today.

    Love to you all,
     
  12. Sandy

    Sandy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2005
    6,847
    Dear Cliff,

    Sounds like you already have a plan taking shape, but for future/others' reference, can I just mention that the Commission for Social Care Inspection also has a searchable directory of Home Care providers with inspection reports:

    http://www.csci.org.uk/registeredservicesdirectory/rsquicksearch.asp

    This should match up with the Social Services list, but it is handy to have direct access. There is also the ability to search for nurses agencies.

    Take care,

    Sandy
     
  13. Cliff

    Cliff Registered User

    Jun 29, 2007
    777
    North Wales
    Thank you Sandy,

    The more info I have the better.

    Have asked the agency who are providing respite care at present and they will let me know if they would provide an emergency '24hr at home care' - manager away today. There are more agencies for me to try if they cannot help.

    I know it's an expensive option but at least Dee would be in her own house and surroundings.

    Again, thank you - much appreciated.
     
  14. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hope you manage to get something sorted, Cliff. It would certainly be better for Dee to be in familiar surroundings.

    Love,
     
  15. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Can I just add slightly to Sandy's helpful post. All domiciliary care agencies, nursing or otherwise, have to be registered with CSCI. The reports available on the CSCI website will have followed on from statutory inspections and should give you an idea of how good they are thought to be and where they need to improve aspects of their services. You can search for services in various different ways on the CSCI site including by type, by postal district and by name etc etc. So if you know of a service by name but are not sure whereabouts they are based, you can track them down and look at visit reports both recent and not so recent. If it looks as if a visit hasn't taken place for a while it may be worth ringing your local CSCI office and asking if a more recent report is available. Sometimes the reports don't get loaded onto the site as fast as they should and it may be possible to get a hard copy sooner than track one down on the website.
     
  16. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Hi Cliff,

    At the end of the day, if you can't do it, you can't do it. Your priority is Dee, and if someone else has go and identify the body, and arrange the funeral then let them. A living person is far more important.

    Sorry if this sounds a bit blunt, but it seems to me you are trying to be all things to all men, and it can't work. See to Dee as your first priority, and worry about the rest afterwards.

    Someone else will have to do it, if it cannot be you.

    Hope you find a solution.

    Margaret
     
  17. Cliff

    Cliff Registered User

    Jun 29, 2007
    777
    North Wales
    #17 Cliff, Nov 6, 2007
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2007
    Hello Margaret,

    Thank you for your concern - but there is nobody else. When you get to our ages (80 and plus and childless) you find the families have all gone. Sad but that's how it is.

    However, hopefully this event may not happen for some time. But when you are caring for someone alone anything may happen in the passage of time. And even if this event is delayed it helps me to know what to do in any other crisis in my health or whatever.

    Thank you again to everyone who are all trying to help.

    It is appreciated.
     
  18. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Dear Cliff, I didn't realise you were over 80, so I see the problem, there might be only you able to do the job.

    Good luck

    Margaret
     

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