My husband was diagnosed in 2019 but looking back signs were there many years. He also is registered partially sighted. To him he is ok everybody else is wrong. This attitude helps no one and does not achieve good visits with professionals who are trying to advise/help. We go to 1 group a month because he does not need to socialise with as he sees it ‘these people’ and gets quite angry when the ‘Dementia’ word crops up in conversation/tv. Over the last 2 weeks things have really gone downhill problems with using toilet during the night so now pees in bucket which I quickly empty before it gets knocked over, problems with constipation (I treat as directed by GP) but he does not agree; no obvious signs that he is having any difficulty with either waterworks/bowel. Sight has deteriorated but not to him and he now struggles to make a drink without knocking it over himself or all over the floor and blames me for causing the problems that he is experiencing. Now unable to hold a meaningful conversation and gets frustrated as he cannot explain himself, which is very sad. He takes Memantine and vitamins. I find that I have coped very well with things that I initially thought I would be unable to deal with but I now find myself lacking empathy as I seem to be unable to do anything right, I constantly cry and have to vanish to try and hide my feelings, am constantly tired and feeling down with no one to talk to about how I feel or how to ease the situation, which I know will only get worse. I have read and do try to be patient about being compassionate and not arguing but there are times when, for your own sanity, you have to make a stance and suffer the consequences which always appear within a few hours. I read the comments on here of various problems and admire you all for how you cope and send you wonderful people virtual hugs as it is true unless you have experienced this cruel disease you never can really understand what it is like. Thank you for listening to my vent and bless you all.
Advice vascular dementia and sharp deterioration!!
- Thread starter Mojo48
- Start date
sapphire turner
Registered User
Wow Mojo48 it sounds like you need a break! Are you able to get out on your own at all? My friends and family are not much use for sitting with my husband- they all have busy lives. I get the full attendance allowance tho, as he often wakes at night stuck in nightmares, it’s around £100 a week and not means tested. You need to get some help filling the forms in to know what they are looking for (what happens on worst days etc). I use the ££ (plus cancelling the cleaner) to get a carer in two mornings a week to take him out (dog walks, museums, pubs etc) he wasn’t keen at first but loves it now. It has been a real lifesaver for me!
Do look after yourself you will be no use to him if this awful situation breaks you. Maybe see the GP, they have lots of useful local contacts. Sending love ❤️
Do look after yourself you will be no use to him if this awful situation breaks you. Maybe see the GP, they have lots of useful local contacts. Sending love ❤️
Bunpoots
Volunteer Host
Hello @Mojo48
My dad had vascular dementia and I have experienced the sudden step downs in abilities that happen it’s this disease. I also remember how frustrating it was to deal with dad “being right” even when he was being ridiculous. I had the luxury of being able to go back to the sanity of my own home for a break though. I’m in awe of those who manage to live with someone like this and not go mad with frustration!
I agree with @sapphire turner - you need a regular break from caring. Hopefully you can find a way to achieve this.
In the meantime we’re here for you to vent whenever you need to.
My dad had vascular dementia and I have experienced the sudden step downs in abilities that happen it’s this disease. I also remember how frustrating it was to deal with dad “being right” even when he was being ridiculous. I had the luxury of being able to go back to the sanity of my own home for a break though. I’m in awe of those who manage to live with someone like this and not go mad with frustration!
I agree with @sapphire turner - you need a regular break from caring. Hopefully you can find a way to achieve this.
In the meantime we’re here for you to vent whenever you need to.
Thank you for your response some good info in there to pursue sending hugs to you
Thank you for responding, much appreciated , good to know we are not alone in our difficult journeys with dementia, sending hugs to you
sapphire turner
Registered User
❤️❤️❤️
