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Advice sought, can't make progress


New member
Aug 5, 2020
Hi all, I have read some of the posts on here, been reading them for a while and been advised by AS helpline to contact DVLA and Adult Social Care about my mother. Background: my father had an initial appointment with the Memory Clinic, and had a CT scan, but does not accept there is a problem, will not engage with the hospital (has discharged himself) and is not accessing any treatment at all. He is going rapidly downhill and my mother has become his carer. He has all the symptoms listed on here for early/middle stages of vascular dementia, and is developing the symptoms listed as progression/later stages. My mother is really struggling. I was advised by the AS help line to call Adult Social Care, they won't do anything without her consent. She has refused to give this as she is frightened of the consequences. DVLA can only investigate where there is a known medical condition affecting ability to drive. As there is no confirmed diagnosis (didn't ge the second set of tests etc done and no final report), I am not confident they will do anything.
I believe there is coercive control, and I don't know what else I can do. Helpline acknowledged that he cannot be dragged to the GP/clinic, and to focus on my mother, but my mother is too frightened to access help.


Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
N Ireland
Hello @emily23 and welcome to the forum.

I think the advice from the Helpline is sound as this can be a common enough issue and I have read many times that, in these circumstances, it takes the development of a crisis to get things done.

I hope that you mother can be persuaded to act and that you all get help.

Maybe others who have been in this situation will be aolng later to give the benefit of their experience.


Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
I would write to the address below.
I would simply say.
I believe Mr joe bloggs, 27 high street. hilltonvale. Kent has dementia.
I believe he should not be driving, please take appropriate steps.

There is a special form you can fill in, but if you do not sign the letter and use regular post then no one can ever prove it was you! The medical group should forward it to the appropriate department. The letter will back up what you have already told them. The scan may be enough to prove dementia. For the cost of a stamp it is just sometime else you can do.
You are in such a difficult position and the stress must be dreadful.

Drivers Medical Group
SA99 1DF