Hello! My mother-in-law is currently undergoing all the assessments from medical & social services in order to get some sort of diagnosis (which all professionals concerned believe will be dementia/alzheimers).
However my question today is about the social protocol involved in conversations with someone with the illness - I ask because the last time I saw mum-in-law (Margaret) I worked around the questions/comments which suggested I didn't live with her son, however when she asked me where my husband was I did then point across the room at Martin (her son) and said "Well he's just over there". At which point she burst into tears. So now don't know whether to just go along with her view of the world, or to redirect/correct (gently!) when appropriate. For example, we're currently having conversation after conversation about why we didn't tell her we got married which we do counter with "Er we did, you were there" - no upset so far in response to that so it seems sometimes she can deal with a factual correction. Is there any right way to tackle conversations?
Also, Margaret is coming down for a few days today (Martin's just gone to get her) and the last time she came down she went to bed at 7pm, then reappeared at 11pm with her clothes ready to get dressed as it was the morning - is this expected/normal behaviour? (As she currently lives on her own we have no idea what she does when at her own house - other than going to bed by 7.30pm so we don't phone after 7pm now!) Martin wants to try to keep his mum up til later - is there any value in that?
Thanks in advance for any insights.
Best wishes,
Sue
However my question today is about the social protocol involved in conversations with someone with the illness - I ask because the last time I saw mum-in-law (Margaret) I worked around the questions/comments which suggested I didn't live with her son, however when she asked me where my husband was I did then point across the room at Martin (her son) and said "Well he's just over there". At which point she burst into tears. So now don't know whether to just go along with her view of the world, or to redirect/correct (gently!) when appropriate. For example, we're currently having conversation after conversation about why we didn't tell her we got married which we do counter with "Er we did, you were there" - no upset so far in response to that so it seems sometimes she can deal with a factual correction. Is there any right way to tackle conversations?
Also, Margaret is coming down for a few days today (Martin's just gone to get her) and the last time she came down she went to bed at 7pm, then reappeared at 11pm with her clothes ready to get dressed as it was the morning - is this expected/normal behaviour? (As she currently lives on her own we have no idea what she does when at her own house - other than going to bed by 7.30pm so we don't phone after 7pm now!) Martin wants to try to keep his mum up til later - is there any value in that?
Thanks in advance for any insights.
Best wishes,
Sue