Advice please - Worried about my mother in law

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by Nickyj1, Dec 9, 2019.

  1. Nickyj1

    Nickyj1 New member

    Dec 9, 2019
    2
    Hi all
    I’m in need of some advice please....
    My 76 year old mother in law is causing me concern and I’m unsure what to do!
    Over the last few years her memory has been deteriorating, which she herself has been aware of. She forgets words mid sentence, loses her train of thought easily and she forgets information I have told her the previous day ie. what time kids will be visiting. Not too concerning on its own as she still goes about her daily life as normal. However in the last few weeks she has told me she believes my father in law (who is 84) is having an affair! All came into her head because he was over an hour in Tesco buying 2 items!! She is convinced and has even been round to a ladies house who she thinks it is (as they often see her in Tesco) She has confronted him, accused him and even thrown stuff at him when he keeps saying he’s not. I can safely say he is not having an affair but she is adamant and has basically said she doesn’t want him anymore. It’s so sad!
    Where do we go from here? She just puts a front on when anyone else visits then talks to me in confidence. I know if I suggest a trip to the doctors it will cause upset between the 2 of us and that she’ll feel let down by me, I also anticipate she’ll be angry with me for suggesting it as she’s really agitated all the time. She’s not sleeping, barely eating and I really need advice on how best to move forward or talk to her. Or do I just stay out of it? I’ve spoken to my husband but obviously he’s not let on that he knows anything whilst we decide what we need to do.
    I’ve read previous posts and understand numerous things could cause such behaviour but eager to hear from people with similar experiences.
    Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post x
     
  2. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Volunteer Host

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,603
    Nottinghamshire
    Welcome to DTP @Nickyj1

    What a difficult situation. You mention that your MIL isn't sleeping. I wonder if this could be your reason for getting her to see the doctor. You could send an email to the surgery outlining your concerns and ask the GP not to let on that you've done that. They would then have an idea of what might be happening.
     
  3. Nickyj1

    Nickyj1 New member

    Dec 9, 2019
    2
    Thanks Bunpoots, it’s worth a try with her, I know she did go a while ago regarding the sleep issue and didn’t get very far so getting her to try again may be tricky. She’s not one to frequent the doctors often!! I could try emailing her surgery (different one to me) outlining the situation and see if they have any suggestions? Do doctors surgeries actually act on such emails I wonder? X
     

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