Advice on Care Homes and legal matters wanted PLEASE!!!!!


Registered User
Aug 7, 2010
My Mum has been admitted for emergency respite care for 2 weeks, but she will have to stay in a nursing home as my Dad(88) cannot cope anymore. She has Alzheimers and has no strength in her legs. She has had quite a few falls recently and wants to get up in the night 5 or 6 times to use the toilet. She cannot talk to us - we get a smile or frown or the word NO when she tries to communicate.
Basically, my parents have not written a will, no power of attorney or anything. They own their own home. (I have tried for years to get them to write a will but they refuse). We have been told that we may have to pay £100 per week for residential care for Mum. I am distraught, upset and cannot cope - but I have to.
I have spoken to a solicitor recently - but I do not know where to start. Can anyone offer me some advice about Care Homes and Wills.

Thank you so much.


Registered User
Feb 11, 2009
Perthshire Scotland
I'm no expert and I'm sure others will be able to offer much more advice! My thoughts are that as your mum will be deemed to lack mental capacity she will be unable to do anything about a will, your dad on the other hand can and should! In fact your mum's situation could give you a reason to convince your dad to put his affairs in order- tell him he needs to write a will so that if anything happens to him he can be sure your mum is taken care of.
I'd also get you dad to set up a POA for himself (again it is too late to do this for your mum - for her you'd need to apply for guardianship or deputyship). My dad has just changed his POA as it granted POA to my mum (who is end stage vascular dementia) so he has had a new POA drawn up with my sister and I on it instead.

I can't help with the care home finance. I'm sure someone else will be able to though!
K xx


Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
What a terrible situation.
You raise so many points that it is difficult to know where to start.
I suggest that you initially make an appointment with Citizens Advice Bureaux to discuss everything.

However some points raised by your post are:-

Has your mother had a community care assessment by social services?

It appears your mother does not not have capacity, she therefore cannot make a will or grant a POA, this means that an application for the appointment of a deputy to handle her finances will have to be made to the Court of Protection.

Your father can both make a will and grant a POA

Only your mother has to pay for the cost of a care home, other family members do not have to contribute.

If your mother has more than £23250 in capital she will have to pay the full cost, between £23250 and £14250 the LA contribute to the cost and below £24250 the LA pay the full cost. As long as your father remain in the marital home its value is disregarded when assessing the capital.

If you go to the CAB take a written list of all your concerns and queries.
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Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
Lynne - how much will have to be paid to the care home is calculated on the basis of your mother's income and assets. The marital home is disregarded while your father is living in it. Does you mother have any other savings? Isas? If she doesn't, or if she does but they are less than £14250, then she will be expected to contribute her state pension plus 1/2 of any occupational pension less her personal expense allowance which is currently £22.60 a week.

P.S. The will is really irrelevant as it relates to your mother. If she doesn't have capacity she can't make a will. You may need to apply to become a deputy depending on your need to access her savings etc.