As previously posted Dad has been choking on food for a while was given antibiotics and rallied a little then last weekend the ch called me as he was choking a lot and wasn't taking any fluid. Although we had made the decision to keep him at the ch the week before the district nurse encouraged me to send him to hospital. I live four hours away so felt I had to do as advised. Dad was given antibiotic and fluid but the doctors told us there was no benefit and he should go back to the CH for end of life care. We were happy with that as wanted him in familiar surroundings. He has a syringe driver in for secretions and does not seems to be in pain but.... He returned Thurs and has only had mouth care and still seems to be going strong. He seems desperate to have food or liquid as bites at the stick and last night said please when wanting to bite which broke my heart. We decided to dab squash on his mouth with sponges from the hospital which he said was smashing. My question is should they be going back to giving him thickened fluid or food. I know he may have problems choking again so I just don't know what is the right thing. We only have district nurses coming out no palliative care team and I don't know who to ask to help decide what's best.
Advice needed
- Thread starter abijac
- Start date
What do the care home say? To be honest, my gut instinct would be to give him tiny bits of yoghurt or something similar, if he wants it. Yes, he may choke. But he might enjoy the sensation of something in his mouth. When my husband was dying, right to the last day or two, he liked to have a teaspoon or two of set yoghurt now and then. He couldn't really swallow it, but the care staff gave it to him. I would say, talk to whoever is in charge about it. They may not want the responsibility - but see what they say.
The nurse advised care home to try him on thickened juice on the swab which he has been enjoying. This morning when I arrived I could see that the one swab left was still there and he had not had mouth care since 930pm. I immediately went to complain and told the senior he should be done hourly she said oh I know. They brought some more in and gave him some but the combination of not sitting him up and him being desperate for it meant he choked which made the senior say well he just can't have the thickened stuff. When the district nurse arrived I queried what he should and shouldn't be having and who makes that desicion and she basically told me that no one would make that call as they are afraid of getting in trouble. I told her I just want him to have hourly mouth care and maybe tiny bits of juice on the swab as my husband was doing. I have to return home tomorrow and do not feel happy so have asked to speak to the hospice team. Meanwhile my dad is saying please and begging for something.
Hi abijac
I wish I knew how to answer you - this is so tough for you and your dad
I think speaking to the hospice team is a good idea
indeed is there a hospice close to you, speaking to their staff may also help you
is your dad actually swallowing any of the thickened juice on the swab? or is it 'only' helping to make his lips and mouth feel more comfortable?
I agree that trying to give him anything while on his back and not calm was foolish - I think I'd have choked in those circumstances
as a daughter I think I too would go along Lady A's lines and try my dad with something thickened or yogurt, then if he did choke, I'd know for myself that he was no longer able to swallow successfully, and then keep to the regular swabs to keep him comfortable
all this, though, is just my thoughts, as I have no experience of your situation
I do send the warmest of wishes for you all
I wish I knew how to answer you - this is so tough for you and your dad
I think speaking to the hospice team is a good idea
indeed is there a hospice close to you, speaking to their staff may also help you
is your dad actually swallowing any of the thickened juice on the swab? or is it 'only' helping to make his lips and mouth feel more comfortable?
I agree that trying to give him anything while on his back and not calm was foolish - I think I'd have choked in those circumstances
as a daughter I think I too would go along Lady A's lines and try my dad with something thickened or yogurt, then if he did choke, I'd know for myself that he was no longer able to swallow successfully, and then keep to the regular swabs to keep him comfortable
all this, though, is just my thoughts, as I have no experience of your situation
I do send the warmest of wishes for you all
