advice needed

[Nirmanakayas]

My partner has not got a diagnosis yet but is awaiting tests he has a very poor memory and easily gets confused. and doesn't remember things His son is denying we are in a relationship although we have been in a relationship for many years and only recently has his memory got bad. We don't live in the same house but very nearby as he lives in a disabled bungalow due to problems with his mobility he has problems with his knee joints and can't walk far. The son is trying to get POA to take over all his financial affairs and keeps taking him to the bank presumably to organize this. My partner does not realize the implications of this you might say he sees his son completely through rose tinted spectacles and can't understand why his son doesn't recognize our relationship. I am very worried about this as the son owes him thousands of pounds and I don't feel he has got his Dad's best interests at heart just complete control over all his money I am main carer also for my partner at the moment and we are hoping to marry later this year but am worried son could stop this claiming his Dad has not got capacity to make this decision although we have talked of marrying over the years many times. His son does not want him getting a mobility car either so I could take him out more and visit friends etc. Looking back I realize that his son and two other siblings have never acknowledged our relationship at all which started following my partner's acrimonious divorce when his whole family wouldn't speak to him. I helped him renew ties with his family and really wish I hadn't as I am really concerned. The son is frightening to me as a pensioner (we are both pensioners on a state pension) and I am not sure what he would do if I tried to thwart his plans. I could really use some advice

 

[Gosling]

Hello @Nirmanakayas and firstly welcome to this friendly and supportive forum. There is lots of shared experience of dementia to be found here, so I am glad you have found us.
I am sorry to learn of the situation with your partner. It is good that you have started to get the diagnosis process started, and hopefully you will have a memory clinic appointment soon.
As far as POA is concerned, it is up to the donor (your partner) exactly who he chooses to have it. As long as he is not being coerced into signing anything he doesn't understand, and has capacity to understand what he is doing, then it is up to him. With what you say about the family situation, you may find it helpful to contact the helpline for advice: Particularly if you are worried about being frightened.

Contact us

Find out how to get in touch with Alzheimer's Society by phone, email, post or online.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

But please, do have a good look around the forums and ask any particular questions you may like to.
You will always find understanding and support here from members that really do want to help.