Advice needed re Husband (mid stage Mixed Dementia) started stealing from shops

[Nannie Sandra]

Hi everyone!
My husband of 30 years has mid stage Mixed Dementia.He has never been the best tempered person even before his Dementia diagnosis!We split up three times in the past due to his controlling behaviour (not physically aggressive but held the purse strings to a degree that I had to ask for and account for every penny I spent ,despite him earning a big salary and owning a dozen vintage motorcycles etc!)
Anyway ,fast forward to 12 years ago ,he suffered a massive heart attack and mini strokes,had successful surgery and life limped on .The Dementia diagnosis was made 8 years ago .
We now live back in Derby in Sheltered Housing,have massive Family support from my 7 children (his two children aged 57 and 50 never visit or even enquire about their Dad ,longggg story !)
Sorry,I’m waffling on,what I wanted to ask is has anyone any advice to offer re hubby’s recent stealing from shops please?He thinks it’s hilarious that he’s been stealing bin bags,pens etc from shops when he’s with me or my children and has been sneaking out (whilst I am in shower etc,we live opposite a shopping precinct) and is now subsequently banned from Asda etc ,even if accompanied!
We used to attend most of the
organised activities here at our Complex,but stopped going as he was stealing pens,books etc and several residents have complained to our scheme manager so we stopped going (which means even more isolation)
I know there is no ‘magic wand’ but life is becoming so challenging now I’m not able to socialise
Thank you in advance for any input/advice anyone can offer

 

[DeeCee7]

Hello @Nannie Sandra I am sorry to read your story, you have had a lot to cope with over the years with your husband, but I am glad to hear you have good support from your own children. I was thinking if you could enlist the help of the local community police. If you explained about his dementia and stealing to them, maybe a visit from someone in uniform might make him realise this is not as hilarious as he thinks.

 

[Gosling]

Hello @Nannie Sandra and welcome to this friendly and supportive forum.
Gosh, yes you have had an awful lot of challenges over the years - Massive family support as you say, is so needed and welcomed, so I am glad you are getting that.
With regard to his stealing, I can only agree with what has already been said, with trying to enlist the assistance of local PCSO's - that just might make him sit up and think.
Others may be along shortly with other suggestions.

 

[Nannie Sandra]

Hello @Nannie Sandra I am sorry to read your story, you have had a lot to cope with over the years with your husband, but I am glad to hear you have good support from your own children. I was thinking if you could enlist the help of the local community police. If you explained about his dementia and stealing to them, maybe a visit from someone in uniform might make him realise this is not as hilarious as he thinks.

 

[Nannie Sandra]

Hi there
Went to town be of my daughters for tea yesterday,(she comes and takes hubby out once a week and I have a totally free day from 10 am to about 7pm ,they go all over the Derby area and beyond,to Parks,Museums etc and for lunch )
Hubby listens more to her and one of my sons ,which is strange really as when they were young (they are hubby’s stepchildren) they were the two that he didn’t get on with!
When my daughter was talking to hubby about the stealing,he said
“I will get you anything you want”!!!
My daughter said “No ,this is wrong and it’s making Mum so sad” and hubby just shrugged his shoulders!!
I think your suggestion about a visit from a PCSO is a great idea,I’m going to contact them ASAP
Thank you