Advice about restricting letters

[Pollyposhpup]

12 months ago my friend has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. She doesn't have any immediate family and is currently in a care home. Post arrives for her sometimes with appointments. This seems to send her into overdrive when each day she gets herself ready to go to the appointment. I thought it would be good for her to have a diary in which I could write the appts. I also put them on a white board for her, but this doesn't seem to help. She has a digital clock with day and date, but it didn't seem to make any difference. I sometimes feel it would be better for her peace of mind if she wasn't aware of appointments until I go to collect her. That way she wouldn't get anxious for days before hand and worrying because I haven't turned up. What advice can you give please.

 

[cragmaid]

Hello, as your friend is in a Care Home, does anyone have a LPA for her? Who deals with her financial and legal affairs? You could try asking the CH to hold her letters until you visit and you can filter them, but they might want a LPA in place. You could ask the hospital to address her mail to you, and/or you could get the Royal Mail to redirect all her mail to you, but again you would need an LPA.
The home could do more to help too by perhaps hiding the letters until the day before the appointment, but I would not tell her about any appointments until the day or no earlier than the day before.

 

[Shedrech]

hello Pollyposhpup
a warm welcome to TP
you're very kind taking care of your friend so well

I do agree with you, why worry her and cause anxiety when you have the situation under control and all she needs to know is that you are taking her out that day for a treat (just happening to go to the appointment along the way)
if the devices you've put in place aren't helping her, maybe take them away so there's no need for her to bother with them at all

do, though, keep the care home manager fully informed about all her appointments and their outcomes, as the staff in the home need to have the full picture to be able to met her needs; they are the ones who support her all day, every day

best wishes to you both

 

[Spamar]

Hi, cragmaids advice is sound.

The clock, my late OH quickly lost the ability to read a digital clock, but could use an analogue one. I think that the normal round clock doesn't actually need reading, you just look at the position of the hands. For us oldies, its natural and normal. Not sure about those under 30!

 

[Pollyposhpup]

Hello, as your friend is in a Care Home, does anyone have a LPA for her? Who deals with her financial and legal affairs? You could try asking the CH to hold her letters until you visit and you can filter them, but they might want a LPA in place. You could ask the hospital to address her mail to you, and/or you could get the Royal Mail to redirect all her mail to you, but again you would need an LPA.
The home could do more to help too by perhaps hiding the letters until the day before the appointment, but I would not tell her about any appointments until the day or no earlier than the day before.

Thank you Maureen. I have visited this morning and taken away the hospital letters, diary and whiteboard and reassured her that she doesn't need to worry about any appointments. As I visit at least once, sometimes twice a week, the CH staff on duty today have said they will keep letters in an envelope in the office so I can take them and talk through anything with my friend face to face, then I can keep them with me. Has anyone heard of the term 'sundowning' in respect of Alzheimer's and is there an opposite term for morning confusion?
Many thanks

 

[Tin]

Sundowning is very common for those suffering with Dementia and it can happen anytime. For my mum it happens when she has been particularly active and her anxiety level is high and mixed with tiredness. Sorry, but I am not very techie techie, but there is a webpage on this site that will give you more information.

 

[Shedrech]

hi Pollyposhpup
Tin may be thinking of the AS factsheets (you can get to them through the A S Resources button almost top right of this page
here's a link to a page about changes in behaviour, sundowning is quite near the bottom
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=159
best wishes

 

[Pollyposhpup]

Thank you all for your input. It's invaluable to have access to so much experience. X