Hi,
My dad and mum both have dementia. Dad is in a home in the late middle stages and Mum is still living at home and gets on fine, with carers to help her, although she is getting very forgetful. Their house, is in their joint names but their investments/cash are separate. Dad's life savings have run out and he has a fully-funded place at a local care home, although because Dad has a work pension, fully-funded, in our case, just means we pay a third of what we would pay if we were self-funding. This is paid out of Mum's assets.
My brother, mother and I have power of attorney over Dad's finances and over his health. But on the ground, I'm the one largely responsible for managing Mum's day to day finances. Mum and Dad made a will and discussed it with my brother and I a few years ago. However, for tax reasons, they left their assets to one another, with my brother and I inheriting after the last one died. This I believe, upped our inheritance tax allowance.
However, since then the inheritance tax threshold has risen, and my parent's assets have depleted - to a point where we are unlikely to be troubling the tax man on that front. At the moment, though he is nearer to the end of his dementia journey than the beginning, Dad is in pretty robust health. Mum on the other hand, is very doddery, indeed, I think she is still with us though sheer will power because she promised Dad she would stay with him to the end. But, thinking that she might not make it, and that Dad may well be around for at least another five or six years, Mum has talked about changing her will and leaving her assets and her half of the house directly to my brother and I, since she feels she, and Dad if he could articulate it, would quite appreciate it if something of their life savings ended up going to their children and grandchildren, rather than on care.
I duly rang the firm of solicitors who sorted out Mum and Dad's original wills. They have told me that Mum cannot speak to the solicitor with any beneficiaries present and that they may have to speak to her doctor to ascertain if she has the cognitive ability to make a will. Mum is quite forgetful so she needs someone with her she trusts; me or my brother, or one of her care team but she's perfectly able to follow an argument and make an informed decision. As my brother, myself and the care team are all beneficiaries under her will, the solicitor has said that she will only talk to Mum about the will alone. I appreciate that it's probably tricky for a beneficiary to be there, but at the same time, I also have many friends in a similar position to me who have been very much involved helping a parent with dementia sort out their will. Mum has been very up front about her will and all of us know what's in it anyway. Worse I am a bit unsure of the solicitor, she sounds a bit salesey and I'm not sure what her motives are. Mum is definitely of sound mind but she is vulnerable and I don't want her to be bounced into anything.
Is the solicitor acting strangely or is there some new legislation I'm unaware of?
I think we should cancel and find another solicitor but I just wanted to see what the hive community thinks, does that strike anyone as odd or is it just me?
Cheers
MTM
My dad and mum both have dementia. Dad is in a home in the late middle stages and Mum is still living at home and gets on fine, with carers to help her, although she is getting very forgetful. Their house, is in their joint names but their investments/cash are separate. Dad's life savings have run out and he has a fully-funded place at a local care home, although because Dad has a work pension, fully-funded, in our case, just means we pay a third of what we would pay if we were self-funding. This is paid out of Mum's assets.
My brother, mother and I have power of attorney over Dad's finances and over his health. But on the ground, I'm the one largely responsible for managing Mum's day to day finances. Mum and Dad made a will and discussed it with my brother and I a few years ago. However, for tax reasons, they left their assets to one another, with my brother and I inheriting after the last one died. This I believe, upped our inheritance tax allowance.
However, since then the inheritance tax threshold has risen, and my parent's assets have depleted - to a point where we are unlikely to be troubling the tax man on that front. At the moment, though he is nearer to the end of his dementia journey than the beginning, Dad is in pretty robust health. Mum on the other hand, is very doddery, indeed, I think she is still with us though sheer will power because she promised Dad she would stay with him to the end. But, thinking that she might not make it, and that Dad may well be around for at least another five or six years, Mum has talked about changing her will and leaving her assets and her half of the house directly to my brother and I, since she feels she, and Dad if he could articulate it, would quite appreciate it if something of their life savings ended up going to their children and grandchildren, rather than on care.
I duly rang the firm of solicitors who sorted out Mum and Dad's original wills. They have told me that Mum cannot speak to the solicitor with any beneficiaries present and that they may have to speak to her doctor to ascertain if she has the cognitive ability to make a will. Mum is quite forgetful so she needs someone with her she trusts; me or my brother, or one of her care team but she's perfectly able to follow an argument and make an informed decision. As my brother, myself and the care team are all beneficiaries under her will, the solicitor has said that she will only talk to Mum about the will alone. I appreciate that it's probably tricky for a beneficiary to be there, but at the same time, I also have many friends in a similar position to me who have been very much involved helping a parent with dementia sort out their will. Mum has been very up front about her will and all of us know what's in it anyway. Worse I am a bit unsure of the solicitor, she sounds a bit salesey and I'm not sure what her motives are. Mum is definitely of sound mind but she is vulnerable and I don't want her to be bounced into anything.
Is the solicitor acting strangely or is there some new legislation I'm unaware of?
I think we should cancel and find another solicitor but I just wanted to see what the hive community thinks, does that strike anyone as odd or is it just me?
Cheers
MTM