Advice about dealing with COP needed please

Discussion in 'Legal and financial issues' started by NovemberLady, Nov 22, 2019.

  1. NovemberLady

    NovemberLady New member

    Nov 22, 2019
    Hello I am new here.
    My mum has just gone into a care home and has dementia .I am an only child and we have no other relatives.
    I have just started the application for becoming a deputy for my mum's affairs but I am very put off and don't know that I can handle the additional stress involved.
    The LA have already used quite bullying and threatening communications.
    Would I be a very bad person to hand all this over to a solicitor and not become a deputy?
    Thank you all in advance.
  2. Petunia59

    Petunia59 Registered User

    Oct 11, 2019
    Hello NovemberLady and welcome. You need to get some help one way or another for the sake of your own health. Age UK are usually very helpful with information on how to go about things or a local Carers' Support Group. Personally, I would get a solicitor to do the POA for both financial and Health/Wellfare but this may depend on how much you can afford.
    I'm sure lots of others on the TP forum will have some ideas.
  3. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    You need to work to the COP requirements, to achieve the best control of your mother's care.
    Getting a solicitor involved, will be expensive (If there is enough money involved to interest them).
    Local Authorities, you need to understand the rules and restrictions that they work to.
    Your mother is now in a safe place, she almost certainly won't see it that way!
    Yes there will be stress, but as time goes by and the practical items are dealt with, life will settle down.

  4. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    I applied to the court of protection and got deputyship for mum. Yes, it is more complicated than just having POA, but I thought it was worthwhile so that I could make decisions about mums finances, when and how to sell her property and what to do about all her possessions.
    If you really cant face doing it then the Local Authority will apply themselves and the court will appoint a panel solicitor.
    Do bear in mind that the solicitor will charge your mum for their services and has sole responsibility for all her assets and although you would hope that they would work with the family, legally they dont have to. There are some members who were unable to become deputies so a solicitor was appointed and they have to apply to the solicitor for any money required to buy things for their relative, but I think it works reasonably well.

    PS - @Petunia59 , you can only apply to the court of protection for deputyship once that person has lost capacity, so they wouldnt be able to sign a POA
  5. Dimpsy

    Dimpsy Registered User

    Sep 2, 2019
    You can apply for Lasting Power of Attorney @Petunia59 but only if the PWD has mental capacity.
  6. Dimpsy

    Dimpsy Registered User

    Sep 2, 2019
    Apologies @canary, just noticed I've repeated what you said earlier!
  7. Delphie

    Delphie Registered User

    Dec 14, 2011
    Hi NovemberLady. What is it that's putting it off? The initial paperwork that you need to do to apply for a Deputyship can look a bit complicated but it really isn't once you have a good look at it. It's all just a case of providing factual information. If you ask a solicitor to do it, you'll have to supply that information to them anyway. A solicitor won't know who your mum's relatives are or where she lives and so on. Don't let me out you off engaging one, but it might help if you clarify what your current concerns are.

    Actually being a Deputy isn't that bad either once you get into the swing of it. It's just a case of doing what you think is the right thing for your mum. If you make a decision, be clear you know why you're making it. And keep receipts. Not that anyone has ever asked to see the piles of them I now have in various boxes. But if anyone ever does they're there.

    The costs of a panel Deputy aside, I think how you'll ultimately feel about handing everything over to someone else depends on your personality. I know I would find it much more stressful if I had to watch from the sidelines while a complete stranger took over my mum's finances. I know her better than anyone and know what she would have wanted.
  8. NovemberLady

    NovemberLady New member

    Nov 22, 2019
    Thank you so much for your reply and encouragement.
    It has taken me a lot longer than I thought to fill in the forms.
    We are using a solicitor but naturally I have to supply all the details.
    I was feeling very overwhelmed and in the last few days my husband has been diagnosed with a serious life threatening illness and will require a major operation.
    I have done my best for my Mum and I know she is pretty comfortable (but wouldn't admit it).
    I feel my husband is now my priority.
    Also we live a long distance from my Mum which adds to the problem.
    I found the LA quite unpleasant to deal with and worry that they will find new and horrid ways to screw every penny out of all of us if I take my eye off the ball.

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