where do i start? All last year mum underwent lots of tests until finally AD was diagnosed and she is under a consultant at the memory clinic. I work full time-3.5 miles away from where i live and until recently have gone to mum's before work in the morning to do breakfast and medication (she lived on route to work) then back in the evening to pick her up and take her to mine for her evening meal and medication. I would leave her soup and a sandwich for lunch as she was capable of using her microwave to heat the soup. Although this was time consuming and i was exhausted,i was able to cope because i had a routine and i enjoyed my job. I had enquired at work about carers flexibility and reducing my hours pre-empting the day when mum would need more supervision and this time has come. I was finding that she had not eaten her lunch and had started to have to route in her bin (and smell the dog's breath) as i no longer knew whether she had eaten it or thrown it away. back to work- I had gone from working in a team of 17 to .......... TWO! customer services-call stats/performance levels/abandoned call rates. The job had become impossible to do and i found i couldn't cope with the stress of work and looking after my mum so i ended up being signed off work for a month with work related stress and all the websites i went on delivered the same message. Bad management. The bottom line is that the site i am at now is closing down and relocating 30 miles away and in the individual consultation meetings i have said from the start that i cannot go that far. The reply they have come back with is that that my circumstances are not exceptional-well they are to me! Mum has now moved in with me and her care plan is being reassessed as i feel she now needs more supervision and if the company was staying where it is now i would have started coming home at lunchtime. All my colleagues are behind me but they are powerless and my dept rep is going to help me appeal. I should explain that if i win i will get a (small )severance package but it will give me peace of mind at christmas whereas if i don't i will have to resign and i have refused to do that. My doctor has signed me off with depression and i have only been taking a low dose sri for 3 weeks.I have an appt with her tomorrow morning. I am worrying myself sick as i honestly have no surplus stamina to do a 60 mile round trip everyday but i need to be able to get this across to them . Any ideas or info will be greatly appreciated.