Can I try to diffuse this, please.
Dear Martyn.
I admire your idealism, and enthusiasm for your work. I wish there were more people and more homes with such integrity.
Infortunately, there are some or us who have had very distressing experiences, not from the dark ages, but in recent times.
I can only speak from my own experience, but take on board similar experiences of other members of TP.
The same way, I take on board the reports of impeccable care, received by the nearest and dearest of many other members of TP.
I did complain, and am afraid my mother suffered the consequences. My complaint was addressed, investigated and reported on. Correct procedures were followed at every level.
It was the aftermath that caused the problem. It is the aftermath that affects relatives who, by that time, are equally as vulnerable as the resident.
I did move my mother to a better home but that took ages to organize. It involved liaison between SS, SW, both homes, assessment and finance. All this was only AFTER I had searched for and visited countless alternative homes.
I would not wish to go through that again.
If you were able to read between the lines, or had taken the time and trouble to read the previous posts of someone recently bereaved, you might be more understanding that she was judgemental towards you, possibly because of your lack of empathy.
I sincerely hope you never witness or experience this sort of issue.
This Forum is for us all to express our points of view, but when emotions are raw, it is often difficult to remain objective.
This is a two way process.
Can we please leave it at that, without causing any more hurt.