Acceptable care from nursing home?

[Chook]

I seem to be constantly wondering if the care my mum is receiving is good enough. Twice I've been in this week and she's been sitting in her own cold urine. She absolutely stinks and looks grey, crazed and sad. Both times I've washed her, got her dressed and taken her from her room. She then turns into my happy, giggly, glowing mum. The one who is full of love and happiness.

When I took this up with the Head Carer she said they can't force her to get dressed and washed. They don't want to bruise her. This is because I previously questioned the many bruises she was getting up her arms.

Has anyone else got any experience of this? Is it normal for them to leave her sitting in her own wee?

Chook x

 

[blueboy]

Really bad, in my opinion. They should be able to persuade her to be cleaned up - it is very easy to 'allow' people to make their own decisions but people with dementia aren't, in my opinion, capable of doing so.

 

[Beate]

Find her a new care home ASAP.

 

[jaymor]

They are right that they can't force but they can keep asking, they can keep encouraging and they could try bribing. My husband would do anything with the promise of cake when it was done. They certainly should not ask once and accept no and walk away.

 

[love.dad.but..]

No....they are not addressing her care needs, I would think a lot of dementia residents are not compliant at times with personal care, my dad is verbally resistant ... but all the different staff at his dementia nursing home work in his best interests to find ways of getting it done or re visit 2 or 3 times until they manage at least the basics. So I would say it is an easy cop out to say she refused and whilst elderly folk with poor skin integrity can bruise easily maybe their handling expertise isn't good enough.