My mother is frequently angry. At first it was just at me, but I see now it is also others. I guess because I have been the one who speaks to her the most, I get the anger (or whatever it is).
Now there is a new wrinkle. She is starting to think that others are angry at her. As an example, the delivery man with meals on wheels, mentioned that she is not there for some deliveries, and she felt HE was angry at her. I was not there so I can't tell. There was one incident with a sibling who went over to fix something in her house, and she starting screaming at him "why arent' to you talking to me?". What happens with him is that when he is fixing something he will say "I can't talk right now, because I am busy". He might have told her this and she might not have heard it. Since my siblings are in denial, my guess is that he did not respond to her great upset with him.
Yesterday, I called her though I had promised myself I would not. I am tired and a bit down, to be honest. I was a but quiet over the phone as I am very poor at making small talk. Always have been. She felt that I was angry at her. I was not, but I know better than to argue that I am not. So, I finally came up with some really inane chit-chat and it worked for around 5 minutes and then she abruptly said "I have to go watch the television now". And she hangs up without saying goodbye. Okay, I know the hanging up part without the goodbye as that is common now. What I don't understand is how ... if you are not feeling angry, they feel that you are. I don't want to hurt her and it seems that she thinks I am .. because I "sound" angry. I am very sure I was not.
Does anyone else ever get confused themselves due to the loved one's own confusion.
I guess I am asking if you feel like reality has been turned on its head, that you no longer know the person you were so close to, that you (despite knowing better) keep trying to establish communication. I know it is senseless to try to reach her. And yet I do.. I don't know if I have explained this well or not.
Now there is a new wrinkle. She is starting to think that others are angry at her. As an example, the delivery man with meals on wheels, mentioned that she is not there for some deliveries, and she felt HE was angry at her. I was not there so I can't tell. There was one incident with a sibling who went over to fix something in her house, and she starting screaming at him "why arent' to you talking to me?". What happens with him is that when he is fixing something he will say "I can't talk right now, because I am busy". He might have told her this and she might not have heard it. Since my siblings are in denial, my guess is that he did not respond to her great upset with him.
Yesterday, I called her though I had promised myself I would not. I am tired and a bit down, to be honest. I was a but quiet over the phone as I am very poor at making small talk. Always have been. She felt that I was angry at her. I was not, but I know better than to argue that I am not. So, I finally came up with some really inane chit-chat and it worked for around 5 minutes and then she abruptly said "I have to go watch the television now". And she hangs up without saying goodbye. Okay, I know the hanging up part without the goodbye as that is common now. What I don't understand is how ... if you are not feeling angry, they feel that you are. I don't want to hurt her and it seems that she thinks I am .. because I "sound" angry. I am very sure I was not.
Does anyone else ever get confused themselves due to the loved one's own confusion.
I guess I am asking if you feel like reality has been turned on its head, that you no longer know the person you were so close to, that you (despite knowing better) keep trying to establish communication. I know it is senseless to try to reach her. And yet I do.. I don't know if I have explained this well or not.