A year tomorrow.

[KeddyL]

Wow. I can't believe that at 1:25am, my beautiful mum has been gone a year.

It was Jan 2nd we found out mum wasnt going to survive. Since Jan 2nd this year i've felt so uneasy. I'm reliving every ounce of pain I felt when I watched her die and the days leading up to it.

I keep going back to all the stuff I was doing. 'This time last year I has just turned 9 months pregnant'. 'This time last year I was asleep under mums bed in the hospital for the 3rd night so I didnt miss anything'. 'This time last year I was counting how many breaths per hour she was taking'.. and so on and so on. I was petrified I would go into labour (luckily I didnt, i gave birth 3 weeks later) and I remember having my hospital bags with me, with my unborn daughters tiny knitted cardigan and placing it on my mums chest so that I felt, in some weird way, that I still had her with me when i went into labour.

I expected to feel like it was the same as every other painful day i've had since losing her but it isnt anything like that. Its worse. Its still so raw. So painful.

Just had to let it out. Its been a rough night. I suspect tonight and tomorrow will be the same. Xx

 

[Pete1]

Hi @KeddyL. I can understand that it is a very painful time for you and your family, inevitably it will reignite the grief. Stay strong. Best wishes to you.

 

[Kikki21]

It’s only a year @KeddyL which really is no time at all.
It is my dad’s 20th anniversary of passing today. I still remember getting the phone call very clearly to get to the hospital. He also had Alzheimer’s although he died of other complications. Alzheimers actually made him
calmer. He was lucky that he was not hospitalised until his last week through it. Wishing you hugs & strength xx

 

[NIKNOK]

I’m so sorry for your loss and at such a special time in your life too ..... how absolutely heart breaking. I completely identify with reliving the timeline and the things you were doing, it’s such a difficult time.

My darling Dad left us 22 days ago and we are yet to have the funeral.I miss him so much and feel your pain following your Mum’s passing.

I can only imagine your Mum was quite young. It’s no consolation but she’s with the angels now and watching over you and your daughter.

Take care x

 

[KeddyL]

I’m so sorry for your loss and at such a special time in your life too ..... how absolutely heart breaking. I completely identify with reliving the timeline and the things you were doing, it’s such a difficult time.

My darling Dad left us 22 days ago and we are yet to have the funeral.I miss him so much and feel your pain following your Mum’s passing.

I can only imagine your Mum was quite young. It’s no consolation but she’s with the angels now and watching over you and your daughter.

Take care x

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. How did the funeral go? How're you feeling now?

She was yeah. I guess i'm quite bitter about it still. I feel i've been robbed of my mum during my time growing up. My mum was 47 when she was diagnosed and died at 56. I'm 27 now but feel about 77 haha.

Thank you for your message. All the very best xx