1. Blue_Gremlin

    Blue_Gremlin Registered User

    Mar 15, 2006
    89
    Morecambe, UK
    I know this is probably covered by a poll or two but I was just wondering if I was the youngest 'carer' on here or not??

    I am 27 and my husband is almost 26. We are caring for his grandmother who is 78 in september. He is her next of kin as his mother died 4 years ago and his parents split up when he was very little.

    People at work keep saying to me that we are of no age to be dealing with this, so I was just wondering how old people here are and how old their 'carees' are??

    I don't mean to offend and feel free to not answer - I know age can be a touchy subject ;)

    Blue_Gremlin
     
  2. twink

    twink Registered User

    Oct 28, 2005
    265
    Cambridgeshire UK
    how old

    Hiya,

    My husband is 55 and I'm 53, I've been caring for him for 4 years now, he had rheumatoid arthritis before the alzheimer's. I know there are lots of people younger than me caring. I always think it's really sad when I see children who are caring for parents or someone else.

    Sue
     
  3. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
  4. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    HI, Blue Gremlin, I can understand why people are saying what they are to you and how you might be feeling. I was 25 when my mum was first diagnosed with cancer, followed a few years later by my dad becoming chronically ill. (I am now 43, mum 74, dad died 1999). I can get really negative at times feeling I've somehow been 'robbed' of what should have been some of the best years of my life (just have to remind myself perhaps they are still to come!). Not my parents' fault that I chose to give up other things to help with their care - they didn't demand it of me. With hindsight, I would chose to be less martyr-like - if only I hadn't been so stubborn for so many years about 'trying to do everything myself' and asked for more help - which was actually available at that time - I might feel a little happier about myself now. At least it's taught me a valuable lesson as I face this new road with mum - I am NOT going to refuse ANY help - when and IF it's needed/offered/sought.

    I'm not sure you were really looking for advice - but if you learn anything from my experience, feel free. I know I'm ashamed to admit how many times I've thought of my dad (whom I absolutely loved and adored 99.9% of the time) with misguided resentment.

    You and Gav are doing a fabulous job under very difficult circumstances - and I appreciate you have immediate/short-term issues to deal with..... just try to cling on to your own dreams and aspirations for the future and try to plan in how you can accommodate achieving those two, alongside the care you afford or arrange for Jean. (And DON'T feel guilty about it!!!!)

    Quite enough rambling and self-confessional for one day, methinks! On a lighter note when 'age' comes up at work, my boss reassures those of us 'the wrong side of 40' that 'age is just a number.' :)

    Take care - good luck to Gav for those interviews....

    Love, Karen (TF)
     
  5. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    715
    blue gremlin

    You are indeed young to be coping with your Grans AD however at least you have youth and energy on your side

    Since you obviously have a living to earn it would though be sensible to look ahead and face the fact your Gran will need full time care eventually
    For many on this forum trying to care for LOs when they themselves are well into their 60s and beyond is an exhausting task

    My Mother is 90 fiercely independant and insisting on living alone however i cannot see how that can continue and already feel exhausted just trying to deal with things by phone and at a distance

    You need to ensure you get all the help you can from doctors , social services , etc and ensure that Enduring power of attorney is signed
     

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