Hi everyone. This is my first post here. Like everyone here, I wish I never had reason to come anywhere near an Alzheimer's forum but unfortunately here I am.
My mother has had Alzheimer's disease for over a decade now. She's in her early 60s and has progressed to a stage where she's wearing incontinence pads, has to be fed by hand and is incapable of doing anything for herself. My father is her fulltime carer. I try to travel home most weekends to help out and to give my father a break.
Until about a month ago, my mother was relatively easy to look after. She walked around the house all day and was content to do so. She was usually fairly placid, though she could get upset and start crying or throw a tantrum. But overall, I'd have said she was as content as you could expect.
Now, she's gone into a phase of the disease where she does little more than scream her head off all day and can be aggressive. The only break would come while when her meds (mainly Antivan these days though she’s also taken Seroquel) kick in and make her drowsy and quieten her down for a while. To the best of anyone's knowledge, she's not in any physical pain.
Until very recently, she was reasonably easy to look after and my dad was able to put her into respite care and into day care to give himself a much valued break. Unfortunately, this time around, they couldn’t handle her in the care home because of the screaming and the aggression.
My dad reluctantly allowed my mum to be admitted to a special unit in a hospital where they would sort out her medication and calm her down again. A week down the line, all that’s happened is that my mum has turned into a zombie. She walked into the hospital last week. Now she can’t get out of her chair and she’s drooling. Last week she was on her feet all day and didn’t drool.
My dad is convinced that if she spends more time in there, that they’ll kill her. He wants to walk in there tomorrow and take her home. His logic is that it’s better that she screams her head off all day than if she’s a bedridden zombie. In her current state he won’t be able to dress her or bathe her etc. I’m worried as hell about the consequences of him bringing her home. If she continues in her current state, he won’t be able to leave her into daycare or respite and he won’t get a break at all. From a purely selfish point of view, I'm terrified of the consequences. Everything depends on my father staying healthy and he has to have breaks. I can't be his only means of getting out of the house and doing normal everyday things.
I've visited my mum in the unit a few times since she went in and I can't help but get the impression she's nothing but a lab rat to the staff in there. They're polite enough etc. but I know all they want is a quiet life. It suits them to have her sitting in the chair rather than walking around disturbing the peace.
I foolishly thought that when my mum went in there, that they would try out different meds on her and that my previously placid mother would emerge in the near future. Am I really stupid/naive to have though that? Are we faced with a choice of my mother screaming and aggressive, walking all day and unfit for being left into daycare or my mother with sunken eyes, drooling in a chair?
My mother has had Alzheimer's disease for over a decade now. She's in her early 60s and has progressed to a stage where she's wearing incontinence pads, has to be fed by hand and is incapable of doing anything for herself. My father is her fulltime carer. I try to travel home most weekends to help out and to give my father a break.
Until about a month ago, my mother was relatively easy to look after. She walked around the house all day and was content to do so. She was usually fairly placid, though she could get upset and start crying or throw a tantrum. But overall, I'd have said she was as content as you could expect.
Now, she's gone into a phase of the disease where she does little more than scream her head off all day and can be aggressive. The only break would come while when her meds (mainly Antivan these days though she’s also taken Seroquel) kick in and make her drowsy and quieten her down for a while. To the best of anyone's knowledge, she's not in any physical pain.
Until very recently, she was reasonably easy to look after and my dad was able to put her into respite care and into day care to give himself a much valued break. Unfortunately, this time around, they couldn’t handle her in the care home because of the screaming and the aggression.
My dad reluctantly allowed my mum to be admitted to a special unit in a hospital where they would sort out her medication and calm her down again. A week down the line, all that’s happened is that my mum has turned into a zombie. She walked into the hospital last week. Now she can’t get out of her chair and she’s drooling. Last week she was on her feet all day and didn’t drool.
My dad is convinced that if she spends more time in there, that they’ll kill her. He wants to walk in there tomorrow and take her home. His logic is that it’s better that she screams her head off all day than if she’s a bedridden zombie. In her current state he won’t be able to dress her or bathe her etc. I’m worried as hell about the consequences of him bringing her home. If she continues in her current state, he won’t be able to leave her into daycare or respite and he won’t get a break at all. From a purely selfish point of view, I'm terrified of the consequences. Everything depends on my father staying healthy and he has to have breaks. I can't be his only means of getting out of the house and doing normal everyday things.
I've visited my mum in the unit a few times since she went in and I can't help but get the impression she's nothing but a lab rat to the staff in there. They're polite enough etc. but I know all they want is a quiet life. It suits them to have her sitting in the chair rather than walking around disturbing the peace.
I foolishly thought that when my mum went in there, that they would try out different meds on her and that my previously placid mother would emerge in the near future. Am I really stupid/naive to have though that? Are we faced with a choice of my mother screaming and aggressive, walking all day and unfit for being left into daycare or my mother with sunken eyes, drooling in a chair?