Do what gives you least stress and peace of mind. Decide what to do when you wake up xmas day. Quite impossible to do as i know from my mums dementia makes her so variable. Im changing plans so much.
Mum has been diagnosed 7 years and lived with us for 6.my husband died of cancer may 2012.
Xmas 2013 was v stressful, as my daughter who was 17 took alot of trouble to get mum new clothes for xmas day. I helped mum get dressed and while i was in kitchen she put yesterdays clothes from laundry basket on.
My daughter asked her why shed changed etc and mum became stubborn, daughter pointed out there were stains on clothes . I Was in kitchen and could hear some of what was going on . Mum takes her tablets with yogurt and in temper picked up,yogurt and threw it all over daughters hair, face and brand new dress.
It was hell . Mum had forgotten about it 10 mins later thankfully.
I was anxious for xmas 2014 but things change and mum although angry at times is more subdued and my daughter realises challenging mum doesnt work.
Mum will be 90 soon and trying to make most of it.
My friend whose mum is in care home said she wishes she could care for her mum at home like me. I sometimes wish my mum was in carehome but believe i am giving her better care, food etc. This disease torments us right until the end.
In mums world concept of death doesnt exist, sounds lovely but after asking where they are, havent seen them for ages, she calls them for everything. Mum is in purgatory .
Not to end on a negative note i give my mum identities when she is under the influence of dementia as i know it isnt her. So far she can be basil faulty, im manuel, miraih carey, the diva, keith lemon, rude without boundaries and her latest is lady C , just nasty. Can also be a living troll, worst bully at school.
Im determined not to surrender to the effect dementia is having on my mum .